Immortal Bella
by espaniola112
Summary: Adopted from Hikari Dark. Set around NM. Charlie, Jacob, Renee and Phil all died in a car crash. Bella has moved town, when a family of golden eyed angles find her again. Can the Cullens help her, or does Damen know best? Rated M for language. ExB
1. The new commers

**Important A/N :**

**I adopted this from Hikari Dark but I am not alone. Another person also asked to adopt shortly after me so if you see more than 1 version of Hikari Dark's _Immortal Bella _it is because another is writing too. I don't know when they are posting theirs up but when they do I want to read theirs too. (I mean it in a nice way) I enjoy writing but I like reading more, so I want to read theirs as well. I will try to stay to my ideas (I don't like copying others) and if there are any similarities I'm sure it was un-intentional on both sides.**

**So yeah I wanted to get that out so we don't get a going at. I've copied the first 4 chapters but added and took away some sentences as they confuced me and I thought maybe I could change it a little. No offence intended to anyone! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The crash, the screams. I remember everything, and yet I can't bring myself to feel the pain. I thought the barrier I had built up to keep his absence, a dull heartache would crash with the added weight of the deaths -wince- of Charlie -grimace- Phil and Renee, -grimace- and Jacob -sob- . But instead, I continued to feel no heartache. The only pain I ever experience anymore is the pain that comes from my "curse" as I like to call the abilities. I thought I was crazy at first, as anyone would when they began to see the auras of people around them, and other crazy things.<p>

I also thought I had lost my mind when Jacob's ghost, and yes I did say ghost, appeared to me the night after his death. I had used my ability to read Billy's mind as Jacob continued to feel ill even after his death. Mere moments after I had learned about the existence of werewolves and how Jake was to become one himself, he phased. Thanfully, when he phased back, he was still fully clothed. We often joke about how being a ghost has its perks, although there is always an underlying tenor of sorrow when the subject is brought up.

Now as I walk down the halls of the new school that I've been going to for the past few months, I turn my Ipod the loudest it will go, not even caring what is playing. My new school was somewhere with almost the exact same climate as Forks, it helped me remember that _their_ deaths weren't a dream. I don't exactly know how it helps, it just does. Thankfully, since I was eighteen, I could buy a house. I bought a house and lived by myself, which was heaven for someone who was psyhic and had to deal with constant headaches at school.

Now I sit in my English Class and wait for Mr. Robins to join us. When I sense his presence right outside the doorway, I turn my Ipod off and pretend I'm reading a book. I don't even bother to look up as he speaks. At first that is.

"Class there are 6 new students here today. 5 of which are siblings and the other actually hasn't even met his fellow new students until today. The five siblings are Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, and Jasper Hale."-to this information I begin to pay attention-"And this is Damen Auguste who moved here from New Mexico." Then he turned to _them_ and the new kid, Damen. "All six of you can go sit in the desks by Bella over there." He said as he pointed right at me.

Oh, crap. My hoodie was down. Joy oh joy. Every single one of the Cullen 'children' stared at me in surprise while the Auguste boy went to sit to my right. Alice -wince- pranced to sit on my left side although, I noticed, she did so without any cheery bounce in her step. Jasper sat on Alice's other side and Emmett sat behind me, with Rosalie beside him. Edward sat in front of me, as that was the only seat left.


	2. Pop quiz, note the sarcasm?

I sighed as I read Mr. Robin's thoughts. Pop quiz, or should I say pop test. Fun. I began getting a few pieces of paper out and a pen. The moment he announced this little surprise to the class, they all groaned and I chuckled. I anticipated his command and set my textbooks and binder under my chair, coming back up and raising my eyebrow challengingly. My Robins grumbled in frustration and stalked through the desks, setting a packet of questions on each desk as he passed. When he reached my desk, which was last, he handed me two packets instead of one, of course, with different and harder questions than the other packet. "I hope this extra challenge will control your disruptiveness in my class ." He said in what I guessed was supposed to be a threatening voice.

I knew he wanted to get some kind of complaint out of me, as his green aura of deciet told me. I just merely shrugged, although my insides were boiling with anger. _I'll show him_. I thought as he told me to begin. I knew the answer to every question on the test with a simple touch of the paper and had all of them answered within the first 2 minutes after he had told us to begin. I had to wait a little bit more though, otherwise he would be extremely suspicious. I pulled out a scrap piece of paper, turning to the math section of the test and pretended to be going through one of the problems. But instead, I was writing to Jacob, who I knew was hovering somewhere over my shoulder.

**_I'm so bored!_** I scrawled. I heard a ghostly chuckle and then Jacob's witty come back that only I could hear. "Well thats what you get when you steal the answer sheet from Robin's desk."

I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue to keep from saying my come back aloud. _**Whatever! You know I didn't and you couldn't prove it even if I had wolf boy!**_ Jacob huffed but didn't reply. He began floating around the classroom. He would yell at a child who was doing a problem beyond wrong and make faces at other children. Although they were totally oblivious to it, it took every ounce of my strength not to at least giggle. A movement caught my eye and I looked over at the new boy named Damon. He seemed to be struggling to breath, clutching his stomach and for a moment I was concerned that something was wrong with him.

But then I saw his face and saw that he was silently laughing. Had I missed something? Or... had he seen Jacob? My head whipped to Jake's direction and he sensed that I had become desperate. He calmed down and I decided that I had waited enough to turn in my test. I quickly got out of my chair with a grace that startled the Cullens, and set my tests at the end of Mr. Robin's desk. With that I rushed out of the room, muttering about how I had already written down my assignment due the next day. There was nothing that Mr. Robins could have said to keep me there, as he hadn't planned for someone to finish so quickly and that he had expected the test to last the whole period.

I didn't pay attention to my surroundings as I rounded a corner into an abandoned hallway. In hindsight, I probably should have. I then debated with Jake, looking like a crazed person to any passerby that might have come through, about the possibility of Damon seeing him. Jake was concerned, thinking along the lines that if I could see him, then maybe someone else could too. His thoughts dragged me with them, making me agree that anything was possible at this point. I mean, here I was, talking to a werewolf ghost in the middle of a high school hallway. I couldn't really judge. I finally gave up trying to make my head explode with all of these questions and went to my locker to collect my things for my next class.

I shoud've paid more attention. Then maybe I would've noticed a certain group of five people. I would've noticed the cold, pale hand that reached out to grab my wrist and have been able to avoid it. But it being my luck, I never noticed any of these things until it was too late and I began to have an overload of information of a vampires whole past.


	3. Bella? Epov

Edward Pov (The moment they are introduced to the class)

"Class there are 6 new students here today. 5 of which are siblings and the other actually hasn't even met his fellow new students until today. The five siblings are Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, and Jasper Hale. And this is Damon Auguste who moved here from New Mexico."

Mr. Robins turned to face us and pointed in the direction of a girl who had her face in a book. "All six of you can go sit in the desks by Bella over there."

At the mention of her name, the girl raised her head and revealed an extremely familiar and beautiful face. _Bella_. My family's thoughts echoed my own as we all took in her appearance. Her eyes were still the deep chocolate brown I loved, but they looked haunted. She wore a baggy black sweatshirt that Alice would have mentally reprimanded immediately had it not been for the fact that she had been caught off guard with not knowing that Bella was at this school. We all took our seats, each placing ourselves as close to Bella as possible.

Mr. Robin's thoughts of a surprise test entered my head and I was shocked as I saw through Emmett's eyes Bella sighing and preparing for the test that Mr. Robins hadn't even announced. The moment he proclaimed his surprise, the whole class groaned. My family joined in, to keep up the charade, but Bella just giggled in amusement at the class's antics. Mr. Robins then proceeded to hand out the tests, but when he reached Bella's desk, he gave her two tests. I looked into his mind and discovered that the second test was A.P. Calculus level and that each question was worth double what a regular question should be. "I hope this extra challenge will control your disruptiveness in my class." He hissed at her.

White hot anger pulsed through my veins but I fought to control it for Jasper's sake. _How could he treat Bella like that?_ Bella seemed undisturbed by this and went through the test in an inhuman pace. I, along my siblings, watched in silent awe as she finished both of the tests in front of her in a mere 2 minutes. Afterwards, she sat quietly. We also sat quietly. Having nothing to do as we had also finished our tests too early to turn in without suspicion. Bella pulled out a scrap piece of paper. Out of Alice's and Emmett's minds, I watched as Bella wrote **_I'm so bored!_**

She seemed to still for a moment, as if listening to someone speak and then wrote something more on the paper. **_Whatever! You know I didn't and you couldn't prove it even if I had wolf boy!_** My family became concerned then. What was Bella doing? The boy, Damon, seemed to be amused by something, so I snuck into his mind. I saw a boy that had a pale complexion wandering about the classroom. I blinked in confusion and tried to see this boy through my own eyes, but I couldn't. Frustrated, I reentered Damon's mind and witnessed as the boy turned around after facing Bella, and I saw with a jolt of surprise that the boy was Jacob Black. I saw as he moved about the classroom and messed with children that were non the wiser.

Bella seemed to be able to see Black, as did Damon. Bella sobered as she became wary of the way Damon reacted to Jacob's actics. In a quick and fluid movement that startled my whole present family, Bella rose from her seat and set her tests at the edge of Mr. Robin's desk. Alice took charge then, and under her breath, ordered my family to turn in their tests as well. We all complied and filed out the door after her. We rounded a corner into a remotely empty hallway. Remotely, because Bella stood on the middle of it, arguing with what seemed to be nothing. She whispered furiously to air and we eavesdropped as she spoke of how the Damon boy had had the possibility to see whoever Bella was talking to. Was she speaking to Jacob Black then?

Bella abruptly turned, seemingly finished with her discussion. Rosalie reached out and grabbed her wrist.

**Bella Pov (The moment Rosalie grabs her wrist)**

Royce King. The man who had betrayed Rosalie. The man who had led to what she was now. The man that took away her dreams of children and aging and dieing a peacful life. The man that, in the end, got what he deserved.

Rosalie's dark past flashed before my eyes. I now knew why she despised my want for immortality. I wrenched my wrist from her grasp then, most likely alerting them even more to my inhumaness. I glared coldly at them and they visibly flinched under my gaze. "What?" I snarled.

Jasper and Emmett stepped protectively in front of their mates."I'm insulted Jasper. Emmett. What compels you to think that I would bring any harm to you? Besides,"-may as well let them have something big to try and figure out-"I believe Royce King did quite enough damage anyways. Why add to Rosalie's pain?" I hissed at them.

I stormed off then. Leaving 5 extremely confused vampires in my wake.


	4. Here have a clue

**Edward Pov (The moment Rosalie grabs Bellas wrist.)**

Rosalie grabbed ahold of Bella's wrist and she stilled, as if listening to one of us speak and her eyes took on a far-away look that Alice often got when she had a vision. All of my siblings looked at her with concern flooding the tenor of their thoughts along with me. Then she abruptly wrenched her wrist free of Rosalie's grasp, alarming us all with the fact that she had the strength to do such a thing, and glared at us with so much hate that we all flinched away from the girl who we all loved.

"What?" Bella asked angrily.

Jasper and Emmett immediatly stepped in front of their mates, wary of my Bella's anger and strength.

"I'm insulted Jasper. Emmett." She hissed. "What compels you to think that I would bring any harm to you? Besides"-She paused, deliberating about something,- "I believe Royce King did quite enough damage anyways. Why add to Rosalie's pain?"

She stalked off then, and Rosalie took a step back in shock. On the outside, her body was still and frozen like the rock that our bodies took the texture and strength of, but in her thoughts, she was seething.

_EDWARD! You told her about my past! How could you?_

Jasper's thoughts pushed at my brain as well, only not as loud as Rosalie's.

_Why is Rosalie feeling so... Betrayed?_

"Rosalie." I said out loud, feeling as confused as I have ever thought possible in my entire existence. "I never told Bella anything about your past."

**Bella Pov**

"Do you think you should've given those blood suckers such a big clue?" Jacob asked, floating right next to me.

"I don't really care." I answered sullenly, "I don't even know what I am or what's going on, why should the Cullens be left out of it if they could help?"

The bell dismissing first period rang and I quickly changed my direction so that I was headed toward my next class. I was the first one there, of course, since I had left English so early.

I was sitting in my seat, hood raised over my head, and ipod blaring for the next five minutes, when I heard someone say my name.

"Bella?" Alice asked timidly, standing in front of me.

I sighed. "What?"

"Can I sit here?" She asked, pointing to the chair beside me.

"Sure. Go ahead."

* * *

><p><strong>Here is the last of the copied chapters<strong>

**Next up is a vampire imitating a fish!**

**I think that's cool personaly... don't you agree?**

***crickets sing***

** guess not then **

***hangs head in shame***


	5. Breaking composure

My French period whent by rather unevenfuly. Alice would turn to me and open her mouth only to snap it closed once again, looking more like a gaping fish than a vampire.

Luckly for me the rest of my classes didn't hold any of the 'new commers'.

I sat in the back corner of the cafeteria with a whole table to myself, of course I had no friends I was **'The depresed emo chick who came from Forks'**.

No one knew why I was here, no one knew what I had been through, they knew my name and that was about it really. I wasn't one of those people who go for the sob stories telling people they hardly knew about a horible experience to get some attention and maybe someones sympathy.

No I was the 'suffer in silence' type,the one's who prefered to be left alone then surounded by groups of followers.

So when I heard someone clear their throughts behind me I whiped my head around in shock. Forgetting about the scetch I was doodling in my note book.

"Bella." An all too familiar vevelt voice whispered behind me.

My chest riped open at the sight of the angle infront of me and my arms whent instintively around my waist.

My breathing turned into broken gasps of air as I apraised _him_.

"Bella!" He yelled in alarm.

I gasped double-overing in the pain and turning away from _him_, I tried to regain composure. Or enoth to get me out of this place.

I shoved my books into my bag and ran to my old chevy, sobs racking over my body as I made my way with blury eyes.

I wrenched the door open and frew my bag into the cabin.I was consentrateing so hard on not making contact with anyone that I didn't realice _him_ until I was at my chevy.

I jumped in and jamed my key in the egnition roaring my truck to life. I pulled out of the school at a speed I had never dared to drive at before and my tuck strugled to comply.

He stood there, outside the cafeteria doors looking completely dumb struck and confuced, rejected too.  
><em>Join to the club<em>. I thought as I watched him get smaller in my rearview mirror.

"Slow down Bells or your ganna kill this thing." Jacob's voice startled me.

"S-sorry." I muttered as I releaved my foot off the accelerator.

* * *

><p><strong>OK that was my first chapter...Um...tell me what you think?<strong>

**Like-y? **

**No like-y?**

**Think it's too emotional?**

**That just what I thought might happen if she saw him...**

**Sorry if it's not what you like :s**

***runs away***


	6. trance

"He sure did you a number." Jake's voice flited through my ears.

"Yeh he did me a fucking number Jake. He stole my fucking heart!" I shreaked at him. He raised his eyebrows at me. I never swore but right now, it seemed appropriate.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

I continued my sobbing fit, while Jake tried to gaver his thoughts.

"You know, you could read his mind." He said in a thoughtful tone. "Ya know, read the mind reader's mind." He grined his child-like grin.

"Why would I want to hear his thougts? Why would I want to hear how much he hates me and wishes he never came in contact with me?" _Haven't I suffered enoth?_ I added mentaly. Of corse Jacob would hear it anyway.

"I think you might be surprised." I looked up at him. "I mean, you might be surprised at what you would hear, it's not all bad."I raised an eyebrow. "It's all mushy and desgusting really. Pure shock and wonder was all that toned his thoughts."

He let me chew over the small peice of information he had given me. "That Damen kid seems like he might know something. He could help. He seemed nice enoth." He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"I told you Jacob I don't want anyone else besides _him_. I could never love someone as much as I love _him_ no matter how similar they may be it would always be _him _I want." I sobbed sounding more like a spoilet little teenager.

"I know and that's why I'm saying listen to him, tune into him. Do what you do, you know, find out _why_. I'm telling you he has good reason to have done what he did, though it was floured...for as smart as they say they are, he defornatly wasn't thinking straight." Jacob mused.

"I'm not going to school." I held up my hand when Jacob opened his mouth to argue "I'm not going to move away I just need some time to...deal with what I'm feeling. I can't fall to peices at his feet the next time I see him. Just give me some time, ok?"

I didn't get to sleep that night until the early hours of the morning, finally sliping to unconsiusness out of shier exaution.

I also didn't go to school that day or the next or the day after that.

I was stuck in a trance, similar to that of the first one I had when_ he_ left me. Exept last time I only bared the pain of a severly broken heart and it truely felt like I had died, inside at least. Everything seemed to have lost it's meaning. Love, friends, family...life. Everything just seemed dull and lifeless, colourless, meaningless. Though I knew there was colour and light and meaning behind everything, it was like I just couldn't see it.  
>All my family and friends seemed too far out to reach and so I only pulled back more. Digging a deeper hole to hide in.<p>

And when 4 of the closesed people - who at the time I didn't know they were so meaningful to me - died, it woke me up. I needed to snap out of it. I wasn't lucky enoth to die; 'It wasn't my time' was what I had been told. Oh yeah so it _was_ Charlie, Jacob, Renee and Phil's time. I scoffed. I just wasn't granted the liberty of escaping the pain. I bet even death wouldn't grant me that.

And so I spent the next 3 days at home, listening to depresing music, sobbing over the lyrics and let everything I'd fought so hard to keep back and hide, out. I let the tiers flow relentlesly and let my thoughts tourchure me, because I truly deserved the toucher.

So once my eyes couldn't shed anymore tiers, my sobs had stop shaking my body and my thoughts turned to those of more willing ones, I slept, and promised myself I'd go to school the next day.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R please<strong>

**How else am I suposed to know if you like it?**


	7. Sneak peek

**EPOV**

Bella had left us with so many new questions, Alice was in her next class and had sat down next to her. She was wary of Bella, not knowing what might set her off.

She had repeatedly tried to speak to Bella, but she would stop as soon as she tried, seeing ahead that there was no point. Bella wasn't going to give us any answers and she was set in her ways.

I decided to confront Bella at lunch. I exepted her to be with a group of friends. So when my eyes romed the cafeteria only to find she wasn't with any of the groups of people there, I felt my heart drop.

My eyes kept scaning the room until they fell upon a figure at a table all by them self. The figure had their back to me and was in the back corner of the cafeteria with a hoody covering their head, so I didn't know who it was or whether they where a male or female. But a suddern gush of wind blew their sent my way and I instantly knew who it was. BELLA.

Before I consiusly realiced, I was making my way to her. I was going to pull up a chair and sit next to her like I would have if I hadn't of left her.

I froze behind her and stalled wondering if she'd realice my presence. It wouldn't have surprised me if she did as she had shown us the in-human strength she possesed and how somehow she could get information from us.

But she didn't turn my way and when I recognised the sound of a pencil scrapeing at paper I looked over her sholder.

She was drawing, well, scetching really. It was of a girl in what seemed to be a dark forest. There was a small dark figure in the background, showing they where far away. Trees everywhere and it seemed the girl was in mid-step walking foward, toward the figure, her back to the aprasor. _What does this mean?_

I desided then that my presence should be known to her. I cleared my throught "Bella?"

She turned around and her eyes held nothing but shock. Her heart seemed to stop and then start double-time. Her breathes turned into broken gasps and her arms raped around her waist. _Why was she hugging herself?_ It looked like she was trying to hold herself together, now that couldn't be right. _Could it?_

As if aswering me question she doubled over in agony. "Bella!" I shouted. My eyes scaned the room for the unseen force hurting my angel.

In my destraction Bella had turned back around and was shoving her books back in her bag. She hastly made an exit, running surprisingly fast. The last time she had gone any faster than a walk she fell over. Repeatedly.

She ran in the direction of the parking lot. She avoided contact with everyone she passed. I ran - at human pace - behind her. If there wasn't so many people I would have beat her there. But I couldn't. And so I watched helplesly as she exited the parking lot in her old red truck. _She had desided to keep that thing?_

It dawned on me then. _Why is Bella here?_

* * *

><p><strong>My first attemp at an Epov<strong>

**Hope it wasn't too bad**

**I think I did alright**

***shakes nervously***

**(' _')**


	8. have you seen this girl?

Bella didn't come to school the next day. I was worried sick but Alice kept tabs on her. Not that it made me feel any better and Bella wasn't making any desicions so Alice had to try realy hard to see her. It was like my own tourcher seeing my angel in soo much pain. Pain that I coused, pain that I should be correcting but everytime I tried to go to her house - where ever it was - Alice would get Em and Jazz to stop me.

Apparently it wouldn't help the pain she was in, only make it worse and/or make her angrier to the point she would deside to move. Move to somewhere she knew we couldn't go to.

Alice promised me she would tell me if Bella's plans changed from the few days she was going to take off school, but it didn't help me any.

Every vision of her crying her heart out and blubering things like 'I'm so sorry I couldn't have been more.' or 'I promise to never...' Was like a dagger to my cold dead heart and every tier was like that dagger being twisted to an extreemly painfull degree.

I still went to school, as Alice comanded me to. So I'd ask around and see if anyone knew anything about Bella's where-abouts or why she was here. Every person I'd go to would either shrug their sholders, try to flirt with me or say something along the line of 'Why are you interrested in the loner emo chick? She probably slits her wrists.' and every time I heard it, whether in their mind or from their mouth I'd get enraged to the point Emmet would have to hold me back from snaping their pitiful necks!

Night and day I would be thinking, thinking about Bella, about the first time I saw her, the time I took her to my meadow, _our_ meadow, about how it used to be and how I could of, would of been had I not of left.

I truly was a monster, I had taken what wasn't mine. I have killed both strangers - thought they were hardly human either - and the love of my life, I was killing her from the inside out. I was a sad escuse for... well... a living thing. I was a waste of a life, a perfectly good life that I had to go a screw up. And not just my own but those who I love as well! I wasn't just falling and breaking by myself - no that was far too selfless - I was draging down as many others as I could down with me. I made myself sick.

I truly didn't deserve Bella, she shouldn't even be crying over me, I don't deserve her tiers. But that didn't stop the fact that I love her more than anything, more than anyone. I could never love anyone half as much as I love her. And maybe even after all I've done to her, just maybe she loved me even a fraction? She has over a thousand reasons to leave me but if she found one reason to stay, just one, I'd do everything in my power to keep her, to give her everthing she deserves in life. A lover, a protector, a sholder to cry on and someone to confide in with her greatest fears or secrets.

I'd be everthing and anything for her and I sure as hell - no pun intended - would do my best to be just that.

Her everything.

* * *

><p><strong>I thought this may help with seeing into Edwards mind.<strong>

**And it's a bit of a filler...**

**Don't worry you will get some fluffy chapters**

**Bella, Edward and Damen have a lot**

**of pain, comfort and jellosy to go through**

**P.S. I want to take this time to thank my brilient beta Caketin336 for her help.**

**Without her this story would be a load of mumble jumble with a lot of spelling errors.**

**So leave a review for her too or just for her, I don't mind.**

**Oh yeah sorry if this has some bad spelling errors my beta didn't actualy get to beta this one.**

**But it's got to be better than nothing, right?**

***hides under table***


	9. Detached front

**Bpov**

On my time off I found some more 'curse' blocking music that actually I liked to listen to. Half the songs on my ipod I didn't actually like, let alone want, but because they blocked out everyone's thoughts and everything I wasn't meant to hear, I loved them. I think I'd love anything that could block my 'curses' out and now, I'd adore anything that blocked the pain out too. It seemed that the walls I had built up, had crumbled and washed away with my constant tears and now I was learning how to deal with my pain.

At one point I turned my pain into hatred, white hot hatred. I'm not sure who in particular it was aimed at, I think I aimed it mostly at myself and fate. God I hated fate. Such a cruel and heartless thing it was. Taking down as many people as it could. Of course when fate first arrives it fools you into thinking highly of it and as soon as that happens it lets you drop. No, it slams you into the floor until you're thousand of miles under it.

And so with this new hatred I had found, I started adding songs to my ipod.

Currently I had **Skillet- Dead inside**, blasting through my ears. I knew anyone who was walking past me or vice versa could hear it too but I had long ago stopped caring at what they might hear and what they might think about me. I mean come on, why should I even care? Like it would change their minds on who I was if I _didn't_ blast these songs into my ears, so loud they could hear it too.

Yeah, like I cared.

I knew I couldn't confront _them_ about my problems, I had too many. I still wondered if they could help me but even if they could, it would mean I had to be friends with people who didn't want to be my friends. I wasn't prepared to go through that and I wouldn't put them through it either. I'd give them space and hopefully they'd give me space too.

I just had to pretend they didn't exist. Pretend I never considered them friends, never considered them family, never considered being apart of _their_ family. Pretend I never fell in love with the most glorious person on this earth, pretend that we never went out, pretend that he ever said 'I love you' to me.

Pretend I was all on my own.

Gah!- oh no, not again...

Maybe if I hadn't been thinking so hard about my internal ramblings I might have seen them ahead. Maybe I could have turned around and hoped they hadn't of seen, or heard me coming. But of course they saw me, of course they would hear me and they would only know I was trying to avoid them if I had ran in the other direction.

I had to show a detached front. I had to show I was over them, that I didn't care.

Pfft, who am I trying to kid? I wasn't over them, how ever could I be? And I did care. I cared a lot.

So as I passed them by, at the same time that an all to familiar pale hand reached out to grab my shoulder, I cranked up the music to full power and watched with satisfaction as that hand paused it's descend upon me.

**I can't escape this love!**  
><strong>I want it the way it was!<strong>  
><strong>You remind me of a time,<strong>  
><strong>When I felt alive!<strong>

**Dead inside,**  
><strong>My heart and soul flat line's.<strong>

**Dead inside,**  
><strong>No other satisfies!<strong>

**My blood runs dry,**  
><strong>Take my life!<strong>  
><strong>Save me from this death inside!<strong>

I turned my shoulder away from the hand and sneered in the direction of it's owner, knowing full well he'd see it.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it's out late but no one (exept my beta) reviewed!<strong>

**FYI the more reviews I get the sooner you will get the next chapter.**

**If you want it.**

**I've actually writen up to chapter 12 and am starting chapter 13 **

**but I'm not sending them all out until I get reviews.**

**Even if it's just to say it was good or bad**

**about mistakes even, just tell me how I'm doing**

**and what you want.**

**I'm writing this for you as much as for me.**

**And as I'm going to always say, Thank you to my beta!**

**P.S. Any one seen breaking dawn?**

**P.P.S. Last chapter was Epov, sorry forgot to add that**

**R&R!**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	10. Blurry

**Warning, this chapter has NOT been beta'd. We've been have problems with sending the chapters to each other and since, have lost contact. So I am sorry for any spelling errors or misunderstandings or if it's just plain jiborish.**

* * *

><p><strong>Epov<strong>

Finally the day had come! Bella was to return to school today. I would see my angel again. I would set everything right between us. I would tell her I love her and that leaving her was _the_ mistake of the entire world. That I only left because it was the only thing I could do to keep her safe. At least that's what I thought at the time...

I still didn't know why she was here and I still didn't know why all of a suddern she had such strength and knowledge and if she could see spirits.

These where only some of the thoughts that were coursing through my mind as we sped through the streets of this small, Forks-like town.

_EDWARD! I CAN'T SEE CLEARLY! SOMETHING'S MADE MY VISIONS ALL BLURY AND I CAN'T GET A HOLD ON BELLA! EDWARD I'M SCARED! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HER?_ Alice's thoughts crashed through my mind.

"What do you mean it's blury? How can you _not_ have a hold on Bella? I thought you said you were atuned to her!" I roared at Alice.

I felt an unnatural wave of calm and sent Jasper a glare, and he glared back just as feircly. The stern tone in his mental voice warning me.

_DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ALICE LIKE THAT. THAT'S MY WIFE YOUR TALKING TO!_

"I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don't understand... all of a suddern... how could everything go blury?"

"I don't know Edward and I don't like any part of it either. At least it's not black though, thats something...maybe it's just Bella, maybe she's just undecisive..." _Ugh how I hate the word_ MAYBE_._ She added mentaly.

I gave her a weak smile. "Can you see us, without Bella, clearly?" Her eyes glaed over for 3 seconds, then she was back.

"Yes, we're fine. It's just Bella and when we interact with her, we become blury too."

"Maybe it's another one of her talents?" Jasper suggested "She's always been able to block Edward out, maybe she's expaneded her gift?"

I sighed "It could be anything." I answered as we exited the car.

I noticed that we were some of the first to arive, like always.

_Time to move into position._ Alice's mental voice sang.

We stood to the side of one of the halls that led to our first period English class. Alice had already forseen that Bella would come past here, but things got very blury. Like when we trying to look into our human memories.

The scenes kept changing.

In one she's talking to us, rather normally.

Another one she's a crumpled heap in a corner, sobbing; like she was in Alice's visions of Bella in her room.

And in the latest one she walks down the hall, see's us and runs in the other direction.

That was the last one we saw before I heard music being blasted out of ear phones. I didn't recognise the song but I looked up anyway and there there was my angel, walking down the hall toward me. I guess she had seen us and that last vision must have been her gut reaction to seeing us.

She made the music go louder, _Shouldn't that be hurting her ears?,_ as she passed us.

I reached out for her but my hand stoped it's decent when Bella moved her sholder out of my reach and the music hit full blast.

**I can't escape this love,**  
><strong>I want it the way it was!<strong>  
><strong>You remind me of a time,<strong>  
><strong>When I felt alive!<strong>

**Dead inside,**  
><strong>My heart and soul flat line's.<strong>

**Dead inside,**  
><strong>No other satisfies!<strong>

**My blood runs dry,**  
><strong>Take my life!<strong>  
><strong>Save me from this death inside!<strong>

She gleared in my direction and I got the message, these lyrics were for me. Well not_ for _me, but it was no accident that the music was up so loud and she knew I would hear it anyway. She was not going to talk to me, that much was clear, but maybe she was going to try and cominicate with me? Was this the chance I had been hoping for? If it was either, I'm going to grab it with all my strength and I'm not going to let go until I have lost my chance, until there is no hope.

Not that I expected there to be any after what I've done, I mean how could I just walk in and out of her life? I shouldn't be allowed too and I certenlly shouldn't be allowed another chance to love an angel; but I have been given another chance, a sliver of hope, an opening, to get her back.

I'll be damned - no pun intended - if I let it slip through my fingers now.

* * *

><p><strong>Well I warned you that if you didn't review I wouldn't give it to you sooner.<strong>

**And I know I delayed posting this, that it's late but...**

**If you don't review I'm just going to asume you don't like the story **

**and that SUCKS! So I was going to make you wait longer and send out an A.N.**

**But I decided to post this up as I had some minutes going spare...**

**But SERIOUSLY people REVIEW! **

**PLEASE?**

**You'd help me out with knowing wether you like it or not.**

**C'mon we can't ALL be Edward Cullen! **

**Just put your thoughts in a review even if it's just to say**

**"meh" **

**That is better than...SILENCE! **

**Please?**


	11. Catching flies

**Again DocX is causing us some trouble, so another not beta'd chapter. I'm going to start posting on friday nights and if no one reviews I wont post 'till saturday. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Epov<strong>

I stood there frozen. My eyes staring off to the corner Bella had turned.

That song wasn't just a song, it had a meaning behind it, and I needed to figure out what it was. My siblings thoughts suported my own.

Bella was trying to comunicate with me, yet she didn't want to confront me. Why? She was always upfront with questions about my family and I.

She had always answered my questions to her. But here she was, avoiding me. Avoiding _us_. She didn't want to talk, she had even ran out of school in tears when I only utered her name.

She was shy, I remember, of course I do, but she was never like this. This wasn't shyness, this wasn't Bella.

This was a person who had shut themself off from others, not willing to give or take anything. This Bella actualy scared _me_. Not in the same way she should be scared of me, more like she was even more fragile. As if the wrong word could snap her in two.

"Catching flies are you Edward?" Emmet elboed me in the ribs. _Move before you attract more attention_. He added mentaly.

I hadn't realiced my mouth was gaping and I sucked in a breath, her scent still lingering in the air.

I don't know how long I stood there like that but it was enough for the coridoors to start flowing with people.

I walked numbly behind my siblings to class.

What I heard next stoped my whole family in their tracks.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok so nobody reviewed yet I had 14 visitors.<strong>

**Couldn't at least one of you review?**

**It is making me wonder if my story is just a waste of space on this wonderful place.**

**One word could make my day, there isn't much else in my life that would.**

**Really my dog greating me at the door is one of the only things I look forward to in a day.**

**Please anything would be nice, even if you just said "hate" I'd apreaciate it.**

**C'mon people I'm no Edward Cullen, I can't read your minds!**


	12. blue bell

**I'm sorry but yet again it's an un-beta'd chapter, so please for those of you still reading this ignore any grammar errors. I missed out on 5-6 years of English education. **

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

I truged my way to my first period English, just willing the day would end sooner. I floped down into the chair, my ipod still blearing in my ears when non other than Damen comes in and takes his seat on my right.

He smiles at me and I give him a glance, I guess it was more of a glear but right now the school could catch alight and I wouldn't care, hell, I'd probably start the fire and then jump in it!

With thoughts runing rampage through my mind I put on some milder music on so I could be on look out.

I grabed a book out of my bag and pretend to be reading it.

A tan hand reached out to me, and without thinking about it I turned to look. Damen stood there infront of me with a pleasant smile on his lips. I pulled my earbuds out to see what he wanted.

"Bella." He started.

I nodded.

He crossed his arms over the front of my table and stared at me. My brows forrowed in confution, only making him smile larger.

"I know your secret." I was going to protest but he continued. "I know Bella, but trust me. I can help you if you just let me explain it to you."

"Okay, explain what to me? My secret? What 'secret' do you think you know? You only arived not even a week ago and you think you know me? Know one will ever _know_ anything about me!" My voice started getting angrier and more menacing as I went on and he just leaned there casualy, his face inches apart from mine; his smile not even wavering.

His eyebrows were raised. He even chuckled._ Chuckled_! At me.

"Ah, Bella you have quite the temper now, don't you?" I raised my earbrows at him dearing him to go on.

He chuckled again.

Just then the classroom door burst open and the Cullens walked in with a less then happy Edward. But he stoped dead in his tracks when he saw Damen leaning over my desk.

Damen must have seen me looking as he just grined and winked at me. My jaw went slack.

He reached behind my ear and retreaved a single blue bell. Blue bell? Was this some kind of joke? Was he taking the mick out of my name?

I opened my mouth to ask him but he just smiled at me and took his seat.

I glanced to Edward and saw that he was fuming. I mean litrealy. He was glareing so harshly at Damen I wondered if he would pounce on him. It looked like he wanted to rip Damen to shreads. The fraze 'if looks could kill' came to mind.

~OoO~

**EPOV**

I could hear them on just the other side of this damn door! He was perched on her desk leaning in way too close to her. To _my_ Bella. Who does this_ child_ think he is? Talking and trying to claim _my_ Bella. I have lost her once and I will not loose her to an infant!

I hated how close he was to her, this alone angerd me but worst of all I could hear his thoughts, I guessed from the likes of Newton that he'd be thinking all about his succes in talking to her.

_Pft what an imbesil, he obviously doesn't see her for what I do. Look at what he has done to such a flower that she is, she's hardly blosemed, and he's already nearly destroyed her! Such a pitty, I know she still loves him, the pain of the seperation is proof to that. Maybe I can get him to love her again. He must. Who couldn't? Well if he doesn't want her I know I could. I _would_ give her the love she deserves_.

I barged into the room, nearly taking the door off it's hinges. Bella was startled at my entrance, but she only gave me a fleeting glance.

I then saw that _boy_ lounging on her desk, noses almost touching. I hadn't realiced he was _that_ close to Bella.

He didn't even look over his sholder, he continued to stare at Bella.

_Ah, speak of the devil. The audience have arived_. He was so smug I wanted to wipe that smirk right off his face.

I watched in horror as he leaned across and reached behind Bella's ear. He held a single blue bell in his hand.

_What the hell? _Emmet's thoughts boomed in my head.

Bella had long been catching flys, mouth gaping at him.

I was going to launch myself at the boy, when an unnatural wave of calm went through me. I took an unnesasery, large breath to help calm myself.

I knew my emotions _alone_ were wearing on Jasper. I made myself feel greatful toward him, I hope he understood.

I stood there, glearing at the boy as he took his seat next to Bella. Just because Jasper was sending me waves of calm didn't mean that my anger was gone and this boy wasn't helping his chances in surviving the next few minutes.

I took my seat as the first bell went. The class filled up and the teacher was late, yet again.

I didn't pay much attention to class. I was consentrating soully on Bella and that boy, who I soon learned was named Damen.

I wasn't paying attention to the thoughts of others, but when I heard the voice of _Damen_ in Jaspers thoughts I soon zoned in on him.

_'I know your secret' He cut off Bella's atemp at protesting. 'I know Bella, but trust me. I can help you if you just let me explain it to you.'_

He was replaying Bella and _Damen'_s conversation. I had zoned in so much on their closeness that I had missed what their actual conversation was.

* * *

><p><strong>First I would like to shout out to <em>ResuscitatedHope<em> for reviewing.**

**Thank you for your kind words.**

**You helped me understand what you (the readers) wanted.**

**Longer chapters. **

**The shortness of the chapters was bugging me too **

**so I decided ****to just add 2 chapters together to create one!**

**Please let me know what you want and think.**

**Anyone who reviews will get a responce ASAP and a shout out in the following chapter!**


	13. Damn that French teacher

**PLEASE READ!**

**A/N: Sorry but yet again another non beta'd chapter. My beta had to have her apendix removed *winces* and she has only just came back to ff (as far as I know) I did send her this chapter but I haven't received it in time. Hopefully this is better than nothing, right?**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov.<strong>

I was scared for Damen, he didn't know how close he was to five deadly vampires. I knew how close they were, and if Damen started something with Edward or any of the Cullens for that matter, he would have all of them on him. Even little Alice.

I didn't pay attention to class, I was more worried about how close Damen was getting to me. I had learned the hard way that love was a dangerous thing and not to be taken lightly. Even the love of an object was painful when lost. Especialy now when I have very little. I've leaned to not give my heart away. It will only get crushed, and it will only make things worse when they leave you.

The bell, startled me. I walked in a trance to my next lesson. French. I groaned. I liked learning a language - don't get me wrong. It was something I actually had to try to learn, everything else I already knew. I only had to place my hand on the front page of a test to know all the answers. Some may call it cheating but truely it's not something I can control. It's not like I asked for this.

A bell-like voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Bella, where have you been?" The pixy asked.

I gave her an increduless look, she knew full well where I had been. Hadn't she?

"Places." I reply, looking down at my notebook.

She seemed to pause for a moment. "Look Bella, I don't expect you to talk to me, but please let me explain somethings to you-"

I cut her off sharply "What is it you want to tell me Alice?" I sneered her name "Have you got some words of wisdom for me? Have you seen something spectacular you want to tell me about? What is it with everyone and trying to tell me that they know things I don't? Do you know what I've gone through?" I laughed bitterly "Do you know how I feel? You don't even know who I am anymore. _I_ don't even know _what_ I am."

I finished my rant with a huff. Looking into the butterscoch eyes that all the Cullens had. But these were different, these weren't the eyes of the chirpy Alice I had been best friends with, this was a pained Alice, and I realised, with shame, that I was the cause of that pain. I may not be her friend but I knew Alice, and no matter what she did or didn't do - and in this case didn't - she doesn't deserve to be in pain.

I took a deep shaky breath and returned to my book, writting down the date and todays title.

"Today class we are going to pair up and we are going to talk about a simple topic, personal discription, starting with family members." Madam Frank said in her french accent.

"Great, fucking brilient." I mutter under my breath. I sat at my desk, preparing myself for another lonely and painful hour.

A tap on my sholder told me my attention was requiered.

"Can we be partners?" She asked.

I drew in a large breath. "If you want." I replied. Alice simply smiled at me.

"This is going to be akward." She commented.

I chukled. "Do you want to go first? Your family has got to be a better story than mine." I told her.

She gulped "Sure, um ok...My family consists of my adopted parents Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle works at the hospital, he is hardly ever home. He is very compationate and always thinking of the best for our family and others. Esme is our all-loving mother, we can never do wrong in her eyes. She is -like Carlisle- always wanting the best for her children. It pains her that we have changed."

Alice had a perfect French accent along with her fluent French. "Emmet is my goofy older brother that has the heart of a five-year old, and probably the mentality of one too, though he has the ability to be so much more inteligent and if he used said inteligence, he may not get caught as many times when pulling panks -that recently he has stoped pulling.

"Rosalie is my older sister and she is Emmet's girlfriend. She is very beautiful and because of that vain. Though if you get to know her she is a very loyal and sarcastic character. You wouldn't want to cause any disruption to our family with Rose around. Jasper was adopted with me, we came as a package deal. We are inseperable, no force could tear us apart." She stated proudly.

"Lastly is Edward" the mear mention of his name caused the dagger to twist in my heart. Alice realised this and smiled sadly "he is the first of us to have been adopted. He used to play the piano, he was very good. I used to think he was very inteligent, that he could do no wrong as he would predict it before it could happen. He seemed to simply know. He was very mature. He used to be happy, content at least. Now though, he is broken, he is a mess, more like a shell than a person; it's sad really. It makes Esme so sad and it has affected our whole family. We are no longer the same. We are not whole, we are missing a family member."

She stared deep into my eyes, trying to tell me something. Was she trying to tell me that they wanted me back? No, that couldn't be. I was no more than a distraction to them, something to entertain them and then they got board and left. They wouldn't want a stupid human around, they couldn't miss me. Could they?

I gave out a gush of breath when she leant back.

"Your turn." She said simply.

I sighed. "My family..." I gulped "There isn't much to say about my family. It was never very big, I am an only child. My mum walked out on my dad when I was a tot. I would visit my dad every summer until I was 12, when I finally put my foot down." I shaked my head in regret, if only I had known.

"My mum was like a teenager, always so adventrous. And I would have no choice but to go along with her. She loved to cook, but that doesn't mean she could. I don't think half of what she made was edible, let alone tasty." I tried to laugh but it only sounded like I was chocking.

"She married Phill when I was 17, he was a nice man, young, too young. But she chose him and she loved him, that's all that mattered. I moved in with my dad to let them have their space, I don't think they would apreciate a 17 year old girl in a house with newly-weds. Mum wanted me to stay but I insisted." I sucked down some much needed air.

"Charlie lived in Forks, a small town that hardly ever saw the sun. It was so green. I hated it at first. It grew on me some. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want anything to change." I chocked back a sob. "God, I wish things could have stayed like that." I looked up at the ceiling.

"I was happy, I was in love, I had everything and yet it wasn't enough. I was greedy, I was selfish, I took it all for granted." I wispered the last part.

"Nothing's the same anymore. _I'm_ not the same anymore. When _he_ left, it almost killed me. I was what they called 'catatonic' not eating or drinking. I didn't talk, I couldn't sleep. HA! Sleep, oh how we take it for granted. I had it all and I lost it all. I lost them all." I could feel the tears building up. "Charlie, Jake, Renee and Phil..." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat down, and a tear escaped my eye. "My family is dead." I stated sadly.

There was a slight pause. The other students were talking all around us, and then...

"Oh God Bella, I'm so sorry" She placed a hand on my sholder.

I shook my head, trying to get ride of the images. No such success. I stood up.

"Madam Frank, can I please be excused?" I asked in my American accented french.

She took one look at me and noded her head, with a questions in her eyes. She could think what she likes I don't care. I just need out.

_Poor girl, looks like she's going to break down._ I saw an image of me in her mind. God, I looked a mess. Well I was one, wasn't I?

I made a hasty retreat to my truck. I jumped in the cabin and locked myself in, finally letting the sobs escape.

* * *

><p><strong>Shout out to <em>ResuscitatedHope <em>for reviewing again.**

**Please can you review? Just one word would be nice.**

**3 Reviews and I will post the next chapter on friday,**

**otherwise you'll have to wait until saturday night.**

**If only 1 or 2 review I will send them the next chapter before it's supposed to be up.**

**But you have to give me a little time to send it to you.**

**It's not quite finished.**

**Shout out to my beta to get better soon!**

_**Merry Chistmas **_

_**and a **_

_**Happy new Year!**_


	14. Haunted by memories

**A/N: Another unbeta'd chapter. Sorry. I'll tell you at the end _why_ and I've realised there's something I've missed out.**

**Disclamer: If I was SM I'd be writting another book to follow BD. But I'm not. Also if I was Alyson Noel I'd have read past _Blue Moon._ But I haven't and so I DON'T own anything. Not even the songs! :(**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

I stayed in my cabin for the next hour. Trying to get rid of, or at least over come the images and sounds in my mind.

I could almost hear the screeching of tires, trying desperatly to grasp for grip, the screaming of metal as it tore apart from it's binedings. I could hear the thumping of bodies hitting a solid object. The smashing of glass as it scattered into a million pieces.

I cover my ears in a feeble attempt to block out the noise. But it's no use. The noise isn't there, it's only in my head. Haunting me in one of my darkest hours. _Do I have a wish to go to an asylum or something?_

I was so glad that no one had come out to the parking lot. That no one came after me. Why would they do such a thing anyway? Why would they waste their time comfurting me? I wasn't worth it.

It's not as if some words of comfurt would magicaly heal me. I was broken in so many places that I've lost count. I've stoped trying to count how many times my heart has been shattered.

I've lost so much and gained so little. Yet there it all stands, right infront of me. The one I love the most is in the same area as me. I could just reach out and grab him.

Maybe if he saw a stronger me he'd be interested. Wasn't that why he left in the first place, because I was too weak and he'd had enough of playing the hero? I would have if I was him.

But if it was him, _I_ was saving. I'd save him a million times over in a million life threatening ways and I wouldn't care, so long as at the end of the day he was with me and I was with him.

I'd go through this heart breake a houndred times over, that's how much I wanted; no, needed him.

With words of incuridgement from Jacob - _did I mention he was by my side all along?_ - I managed to pull myself together just before the lunch bell rang.

Pupils were hurrying off in different directions. Each choosing different ways to spend their lunch time together.

I sluged my way to the cafeteria. Jacob making comical remarks on the way.

I had a mission to do, I had things that needed to be said. But I feared that if we did it face to face I'd make a fool of myself and scare him off because of how much I love him.

So yet again I placed my mask on, my face beoming emotionless. My emotions traped off by a wall, for no one to see or - in the case of Jasper, feel.

I made my way over to my table, with 5 pairs of eyes boring into the back of my skull. I sliped down into my chair, my back to them. I pulled out my Ipod and checked that my huddy and bangs hid my face.

I desided to get to work. I didn't have much time. They were at the other end of the cafeteria, in the oposite corner. _I wonder if they would have sat here if I hadn't of claimed it._ I scrolled down the screen, song after depresing song. Until I came across the one I was looking for.

It started playing and I made sure the volume was up to it loudest.

_You and I walk a fragile line,_  
><em>I have known it all this time,<em>  
><em>But I never thought I'd live to see it break.<em>

_It's getting dark and it's all to quiet,_  
><em>And I can't trust anything know.<em>

_And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake,_  
><em>Wohoah, holdin my breath,<em>  
><em>Wont loose you again,<em>  
><em>Something's made you eyes go cold.<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this._  
><em>I thought I had you figured out.<em>  
><em>Something's gone terribly wrong,<em>  
><em>You're all I wanted.<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this,_  
><em>I thought I had you figured out.<em>  
><em>Can't breath whenever you're gone,<em>  
><em>Can't turn. Back. Know I'm haunted!<em>

_Stood there and watched you walk away,_  
><em>from everything we had.<em>  
><em>But I still mean every word I said, to you.<em>

_He will try to take away my pain,_  
><em>And he might just make me smile.<em>  
><em>But the whole time I'm wishing he was you, instead.<em>

_ohoah, holdin my breath,_  
><em>Wont see you again.<em>  
><em>Soemthing keeps me holdin onto nothing!<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this,_  
><em>I thought I had you figured out.<em>  
><em>Something's gone terribly wrong,<em>  
><em>You're all I wanted.<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this,_  
><em>I thought I had you figured out,<em>  
><em>Can't breath whenever you're gone,<em>  
><em>Can't turn back know I'm haunted!<em>

_I know...I know...I just know..._  
><em>You're not gone,<em>  
><em>You can't be gone, No!<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this,_  
><em>I thought I had you figured out,<em>  
><em>Something's gone terribly wrong,<em>  
><em>Wont finish what you started!<em>

_C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this,_  
><em>I thought I had you figured out.<em>  
><em>Can't breath whenever you're gone,<em>  
><em>Can't. Go. Back, I'm haunted,<em>

_oooh, oohohooh, oooh, ouhouhouuh,_  
><em>You and I walk a fragile line,<em>  
><em>I have known it all this time,<em>  
><em>Never ever thought I see it break,<em>  
><em>Never thought I'd see it...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>First of all, shout out to <em>blackfire14 <em>for reviewing. **

**Thank you soo much. It's really nice to know people are enjoying my story**

**I'm so sorry I wasn't able to send this to you before it was due. **

**This wasn't the orignal chapter I was going to put up as chapter 14.**

**This is actually chapter 15.**

**I had problems with the original, it wouldn't upload onto FF.**

**And I was waiting for a reply from FF's support team thingy,**

**but I haven't got a reply so I tryed uploading this one.**

**It literally had me up until midnight trying to upload it.**

**Somehow (I don't remember how anymore) I got it to upload.**

**The original was Epov on last chapter, more and less.**

**(no, not _or _because it was less of the begining and more of the end.)**

**So if I can upload it, I may send it to the people who want it.**

**If you do, leave it in a review **

**(how cool is that? It rhyms!)**

**I'm sorry for any mistakes and that**** the song is soo song.**

**BTW the song name is _Haunted_ by _Taylor Swift._**

**It's a great song you should listen to it, if you don't know it.**

**Now I'm going to catch up on some sleep.**


	15. Half the family

**AN: sorry yet again another non-beta'd chapter. I know there are some spelling errors in here, at least one word (any one know how to spell replace-able, replaceable,re-place-able?) My betas computers broke and she lost all her chapters for her story and can't beta my chapters. Plus she's recovering from surgery. Anyway, on with the story.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

The song ended and I turned my Ipod off. I wanted to keep it on, but I knew if I did the song I played for him wouldn't be as powerful. He'd think it was just a coinsidence.

I was hoping that playing my songs one at a time would be more painful then playing them all, one after the other. By the time I've finished all the songs he would have forgotten the first song. Or the meaning behind it anyway.

I hoped that giving him time in between would give him the nessesary time to think it over. Read between the lines of the song, the lyrics.

As I realised after my NDE (near death expirience, not that there was anything _near_ about it) and I had all these 'gifts' I found out that songs, as well as being brilient sound blockers, also speak from the heart, at least the ones I listen too. In other words _real_ songs, that weren't about late night parties, sex, money, oh and lets not forget one night stands. I really hated them songs, all the songs that are in the '_now_'.

I turned to see Jacob smirking at me. Giving me the fumbs up. _What the hell was that for?_

Pulling up my bag I grabed my lunch and opened up my note book. Running past all the pages full of lyrics, thoughts, drawings and doodles. To a clean page and ripping it out. Sliping the pencil out off the little rings that held the pages together.

_**What are you smirking at?**_ I wrote.

He looked at the page and pointed behind me.

"Mission acomplished." Was all he said.

I gave him a weak smile.

_**He isn't coming over is he?**_

"No..." He trailed off.

_**No what?**_ I scribbled getting a bit annoyed. I could tell he was debating wether to tell me something or not.

"No..._he_ isn't, but, well, someone else is." And he disapeared.

I was about to call out for him but realised that would only make me look like I'm crazy. _Well, I don't need that added to the list of things said about me._ I quickly shut my book away, the stray paper with it and shoved it in my bag.

I turned around franticly trying to find Jacob. Hoping that he would just pop out somewhere. But he was no where to be seen.

I didn't have to look far until I found out who Jacob was referring to. A huge mass of muscle was headed my way. Boys cowered away from his mean form. But his eyes gave him away. Anyone who knew him would see the big ol' teady bead that truely is Emmet.

He glided very gracefully to my table. Concidering how massive he is, he still had me miffed for how he could hold such grace.

He gave me a small smile, which I returned, but only out of politeness. My mask covering up the shear panic and utter chaos going on inside.

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if I could sit with you?" It came out more as a question than a sentence. I simply nodded at him. Wondering why all of a suddern all the Cullen's where on me, well, all exept Jasper and Rosalie but that I can understand.

He pulled up a chair beside me and sat down. I cleared my throat that was threatening to close up compleatly.

"So what do you want Emmet?" I was trying to go for indifferent but I came out rather weak and well, just didn't go along with my mask. That I was hopping like hell was still working.

"Well, I just...wanted too..." He was thinking over his words. For a breath second I wondered if he knew about how I exploded on Alice. But I quickly chatised myself. _Of course he knows silly, if he didn't hear you then they would have told him by know. _My inner monologe scolded me.

"Wanted to what?" I was glad that my voice was sounding a lot more normal now. Not that I knew what kind of normal. Bella _now_ normal or Bella _then_ normal...

He took a deep breath, "Bells I want you to know that I always saw you as my little sis, always have and always will. I know that Ed- _he_ left you but nobody wanted to leave, _not one_. I tried to reason with him, so did Alice and Esme but he wouldn't listen to us. Carlisle was on his side only because he felt he owed it to him. Only because he too was afraid for your, and our safety.

"Bella you're a part of the family, a big part too and wether Eddie wants to be with you or not you are family. You're my little sis and Alice's best friend, you're Esme and Carlisle's daughter. Our feelings never change Bella, just like our features. We are like a rock, we don't change much and when something big happens, when feelings develop they will never go away, they stay imprinted and can't be changed.

"Bella we never stoped seeing you as the family member you are. Please give us another chance? We _can_ help you, we _will_ be here for you. We never wanted to leave you and we just aren't the same without you, life isn't the same without you. Please Bella, can I be your friend?"

I sat there stunned. I had never heard Emmet say so much. That was more of a speach than a question.

Emmet leaned over towards me and I was too shocked to move. He placed his hand softly under my eye and removed a tear I hadn't realised I had shed.

I gave him a watery smile as he pulled back with a worried smile placed on his lips.

"Oh Emmet. I...don't know what to say. I...I have never stoped seeing and loving you all for who I've always seen you as. You will always be my big brother and Alice will forever be my best friend. I just, can't get my head around it..."

"What don't you understand Bells?" Emmet asked. _This is a first_, I knew Emmet was and is a caring soul but I never thought I'd see the day where _he_ tries to explain something to _me_. Unless it was a prank.

"It's just...It's hard to think...that after all this time..." I was choking up and badly."After all the things that has happend...All this time I thought I was no more than just a pet, just a piece of entertainment...replace-able..."

"No Bella we could never think of you as a mear pet, you mean so much to us. Our family can't be the same without you. You made us all so happy. There is no way you could be replace-able, you are so utterly unique. Please Bells...just, give us a chance."

A smile crept across my face as I realised what he was saying. He still saw me as his sister, Alice still thought of me as her best friend. That ment I had half the family I lost. It ment I don't have to be alone and that I had a chance of being happy again.

"You-you still want me?"

"Of course we do, we love you and that love will never go away." He grined at me, seeing the recognition in my eyes.

I threw myself at him, forgeting that he was a vampire, that I was practicly throwing myself at a rock, forgetting that I was in a school cafeteria. This was a moment I had been wishing for since the day they left. The oportunity to siece everything I ever wanted. And it was right here, being offered to me. I would have to be crazy to reject them.

I caught Emmet off guard but he soon recovered. He stood up and swung me round in a circle causing me to giggle. _Giggle_, I had never giggled before, and I never thought I would. But I couldn't help it, I was soo happy to have my big brother and sister back. I was like a child on Christmas day.

"Emmet put her down." Came Alice's sturn voice.

He put me on my feet, only to be captured in a hug with the petite form of Alice.

She beamed at me.

"We've missed you." She said simply.

"I've missed you all too." I flashed her my small smile to show her I ment it.

She grabed my hand in her icy one, dragging be towards the doors of the canteen.

"Where are we going?" I asked, happy to be dragged somewhere.

"To my house, we have a lot of Bella-barbie to catch up on." Looking over her shouder as we made our way to the parking lot.

I groaned, no matter how happy I was to be with them again I still wont like 'Bella-barbie'.

"Alice, I...um, I have classes I need to go to. I missed out on quite a few lessons. You know, my grades mean something to me." I joked at the end trying to lighten the mood.

She turned around and the look on her face was as if someone had taken her candy.

"But Bella..."

"No Alice I need to go to lessons, not everyone can see the future." I added playfully

She huffed "Fine what do you have next?"

"Um...Art with Miss Gobbling."

"Yay! Me and Emmet share that class." She seemed so over joyed I couldn't help but smile with her. And off we were again. _Oh, how I've missed her._

* * *

><p><strong>No one reviewed last chapter. <strong>

**Thank you to the people who have put this on their alerts and favourites.**

**It means a lot to me.**

**But you know what would mean even more to me?**

**Yeah, you do.**

**Tell me what you like, dislike or what's wrong with this story.**

**Leave me a review.**

**Please?**

**It was my birthday on monday. *Hint hint***

**Hehe. :s**


	16. Paintings

**A/N: Wooh, my beta's back in buisness. At long last her laptop has been restored! In other words. This one's Beta'd!**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

I placed the canvas on my easel. Alice looked at my painting, the seven pairs of golden eyes looking back at her. Cocking her head to the right to get a different view and taking a step back.

She turned to face me, giving me a smile before tracing the tips of her fingers around the outside of the smallest pairs of eyes. The excitement evident in the flecks of gold in the painted pair staring at her.

"Me?" she asked. I smiled and nodded.

She turned to me. "Why did you paint our eyes?"

I had been asked why, what and who the eyes represented, and never being able to really answer those people, I knew what I wanted to say.

"It was one of the easiest things to remember you all by. Your eyes spoke volumes to me. I was told to paint from my heart and so I did. I found it..._difficult_ to paint your faces, so settled for the one thing that would instantly link to you all." I laughed "I thought, maybe, if this was ever showed off you'd see it and know it as yourselves. I hoped you'd understand and realise it was by me, somehow."

She smiled at me. "I think I would have recognized it straight away, even if I didn't know it was painted by you."

I blushed. "Thanks."

She placed her painting on the easel to my right, she had painted a small corner of her canvas, the other part being roughly sketched out. It seemed like an old high street.

"Where's that?" I asked her.

"Paris, 1954." She stated proudly.

"It looks good."

She smiled at me. "I haven't even started it yet."

Emmett barged next to Alice, making an act of going around the class with his big canvas in his way, feigning difficulty.

"Hey Bells, whatcha think?" Waving his hand in front of his painting like a game hostess showing off the night's prize.

I looked at the painting and was _almost_ surprised at the naked woman he had painted. Pieces of fruit where the only things preventing her from being completely exposed. How totally Emmett.

I coughed "It's...well, it's different." I managed to say without laughing at the absurtidy of it.

"Of course it is. I have a unique mind!" He boomed. I laughed, Alice joining me.

I dipped my brush in the paint. Having another few layers of paint to place on it yet. I turned to my left when I heard the small 'thud' of wood on wood.

My heart jumped into my throat when I caught sight of the bronze haired god standing next to me. He smiled a timid smile at me and I just stood there gaping at him.

Our eyes locked and I was held captive by his enchanting orbs. My heart pounded in my chest as I searched his eyes. They always gave him away. They were my gateway to knowing how he felt and if he was lying to me or not.

I remember they always seemed to be filled with love, happiness and concern. I remember the day he left me and the days following up to that day, they were closed off to me, they were cold and hard.

Now though, looking into his eyes, I could see a swirl of emotions in them. Worry seemed to be prominent but also hope and his eyes seemed a lot softer than the last time I saw them. But unlike any other time I have read his eyes there was an undertone of sorrow and an unmeasurable amount of pain.

"Hey Bells, do you want some help with that?" Emmett asked, drawing my attention away from the distinct amount of pain in the eyes of the love of my life.

"Huh? What?" Was my smart reply, still dazed.

"You've only painted some eyes on a canvas, _do you need help_?" I sighed seeing a double meaning in his words.

"Um, no, I'm almost finished. Alice will you come get some more paint with me?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Sure."

She followed me to the other side of the room where the paints were kept.

"Why didn't you tell me he was in our class too?" I hissed at her.

"You would have changed classes if you knew he was in this class. I didn't want to risk loosing time with you." She said back so nonchalantly that it angered me.

"Of course I would have! He left me Alice, what don't you get about that? He doesn't want me, so why would I torture him with my presence?"

She just sighed, placed more paint onto her pallet and walked away. I growled under my breath, _why won't anyone answer me any more?_

Walking behind Edward as I made my way to my painting I stole a glance at his easel. There was lots of green at the bottom and a variation of different bright colours dotted on the green. A grey ceiling threatening to squash the two figures at the bottom. The painting didn't hold much detail but I could recognise that clearing in any form. It was our clearing, our meadow.

I had sub-consciously stopped walking and was openly staring at it.

"It's not finished yet." A soft voice came from behind me, causing me to jump and spin around. The paints on my pallet blurred and mixed together.

I just stared at him, again. Not being able to form a simple word. A small crooked smile lightening up his face and I started to hyperventilate. He moved his gaze to my painting, granting me the opportunity to gather my senses.

I turned to my painting. Placed my pallet on the table, afraid I might drop it.

His eye brows furrowed in concentration. Obviously he was trying to figure it out. Then his face relaxed and his jaw slacked. Turning to look at me, I got a full on view of his astounded face. I commited all his features to memory. After all, I never knew when I'd see him again.

"Why?" A one worded question that I had already answered for Alice. But telling him, telling the only one I had ever loved and ever will love, the one who left me; was so much harder. Not to forget that my mind just went blank. _Yeah, thanks for the support_.

"I...er, I didn't know what else to paint?" Oh god, I was starting to sound so pathetic. _You already cleared that, smartass._

He nodded. Looking back at my painting. I sighed.

"Hey Bella, which one am I?" Emmet asked.

I turned to him, he was on my right hand side, having pushed Alice out of his way.

"There." I pointed to the pair of eyes just above the centre of the painting.

"How come I'm in the middle?" He seemed slightly displeased. Alice hit the upside of his head. Having to jump to reach that high. Making me laugh.

"Because you are." Still smiling at him. He huffed, not happy with my answer.

"Emmett find a blank canvas and start again." The english accented teacher also known as Miss Gobbling ordered him.

His eyebrows knotted together. "What's wrong with it?" He asked.

"It's inappropiate, we haven't started real life figures yet." Passing him his canvas.

"Well what else am I going to paint?" He argued, I stiffled a laugh with my hand. Turning to my painting to seem as if I hadn't heard his brilliant comment.

"Something else, anything else, it has to come from your imagination. A place you've been to, something you dream of, paint from your heart." She gave him pretty much the same speech she had given to me.

"Miss, I don't see any real life models here and it is from my heart and something I dream of and I've been to." He declared smirking at miss's troubled expression. She walked off.

"Just paint something besides naked women." She told him over her shoulder.

I openly laughed now turning to a grinning Emmet.

"You just owned her." I told him. Holding my hand up for a high five, forgetting my biggest rule. No contact.

I couldn't drop my hand fast enough, his palm smacked into mine before I could.

I inhaled a sharp breath as the images ran behind my eyes.

_**A young boy running through the woods. A little bundle in a females arms, her face teared but overjoyed. A teen boy splitting wood, axe raised over his shoulder. Going into the woods, the rustling of leaves and the gut wrenching growl coming from behind. An angel, flying through the darkness. God explaining things that just didn't add up. Developing relationships and grief from those lost. And nights of undeniable love.**_

"Bella. Bella! BELLA!" Alice stood infront of me, she seemed to be vibrating.

Seeing that I had come round, she wrapped me in a hug. I realised then she wasn't shaking, I was. I latched on to her, just needing some form of support. I dropped my head to the place where her neck met her shoulder.

Catching my shaking breath. I pulled away, the class stared back at me. I was surrounded by people. Alice being the closest.

Feeling my obvious distress she requested to the teacher that she take me to the toilets. She was making way before we got a reply.

I sat on the toilet. I had seen two people's life in under a week. My walls had come crashing down, the flood of tears never seeming to end. I just saw somethings I wished to never even know about. I had seen Emmet and Rosalie's life. Seeing more than they'll ever remember. Seeing things I should never have seen.

"Bella, do you want to talk about it?" Alice asked me, reminding me of her presence.

I shook my head. "Not here." I choked out. Finding my voice.

"We'll go to my house then." She decided. My eyes widened but we were already on our way to the volvo.

Wanting more time and not really wanting to go to my ex's house, I came up with a quick idea that might stall me some time.

"What about my truck?" I asked.

"Emmet will drive it to our house."

"But what about E-ed..Edward?" I squeaked.

"He'll go with Emmet or he can run."

"But none of you like my truck, can we at least take my truck? Please?"

It's not that I didn't trust Emmet, but I just didn't want him to see the gaping big hole by the dashboard where the stereo used to be.

Alice sighed, giving up on the volvo.

"Ok, but I'll have to drive-"

"Cos I won't find it. Ok, ok. You can drive."

* * *

><p><strong>First off, a masive thanks to my beta <em>caketin3339 <em>she transformed this chapter.**

**If it wasn't for her this chapter have soo many spelling errors you'd give up on me.**

**Frankly even though I can't spell doesn't mean I don't know it.**

**It annoys me when other people can't spell simple words. **

**But Ii used to so I can understand what they're tryin to say.**

**Still it's annoying.**

**No one reviewed :(**

**I thank the people who put this story on their favs and alerts.**

**I appreciate it truely I do, I just want to _know_ what you think of this.**

**I want to know what pairings people want, I know what one's I'm doing**

**but if there is enough interest I will write an alternate ending for those who are disapointed.**

**I hate disapointment.**

**So don't let me down! Please?**


	17. Welcome to my life

**Disclamer: If I owned twilight I'd be writting down a sequel for _Breaking Dawn _and I'd have Edward visit me in my dreams. Wait, he already does :S**

**Any way, THIS ONE'S BETA'D!**

**Also I don't own this song and all it's amazing-ness.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

Still in shock, I passed her my keys. Climbing numbly into the truck. I sat back and stared ahead, not really seeing what was ahead of me. Dreading the part that was sure to come.

"Bella..."

I turned to Alice, she had her hand where the stereo used to be.

"Where's the stereo?" A hint of fear and sorrow toning her voice. I didn't know what to say, I had got rid of it soon after I started driving my truck again. It was pure luck that Cha- I was stopped from burning the whole truck.I

I bit my lip. "I...when...I'm sorry," I managed to get out.

"Is this why you didn't want Emmet to drive your truck?" Alice never missed a beat. I nodded.

"I'll get you a new one to replace it." She suggested.

"No. You don't need to do that, I'll get another one. Just tell me the make and I'll replace it." I was starting to panic I didn't want Alice to have to buy me another one. If it was up to me I'd never let them spend a dime on me, but they always ignored me.

"Don't worry Bella. We have endless resorces remember, money's not a problem." She tried to calm me, well I guess it did if you consider grief a calm emotion.

I nodded. Little did they know I had endless resorces too. The only luck I had from the accident was the fact that everyone except for Jacob and myself had wills. So I got both Charlie's and Renee's money, houses and belongings. Hell, I was even offered the cruiser, but I _kindly_ declined. Me being Renee's only daughter and Renee being married to Phil meant I was given his will too. He had no family, being an only child and not knowing his grandparents, Renee was his only family. He was like me to an extent.

I closed my eyes and turned my head to look out my side window, I didn't want reminders of things I had but didn't want and didn't have but wanted so badly.

"Is something wrong Bella?" Alice sounded worried, I didn't want her to worry. But I didn't want to lie either.

I just sucked in a deep breath kept looking out my window. "Can we just get going please?" I tried hard to sound polite, but I just sounded desperate.

She didn't reply, only started up my truck and headed on our way.

Just like in Forks their house was on the outskirts of the small town. It was a good mile or two into the woods. This house was just as magnificent as the one in forks. It was white, with plenty of big windows that made up most of the house. It was very modern and open.

But something was different, it didn't have that same feeling as the other one did. I'm not sure if it was down to my bad mood or if the house really did look so...run down and sad.

The white paint was dull, not the clean, pure white that was in Forks. It was a two story house whereas in Forks it was a three story. There were no flowers surrounding the house and the grass was a very dark shade of green. The woods didn't give the same feel as the other woods I knew. Instead of giving a sense of privacy and protection along with freedom, they felt cold and dark. The actual kind of woods you're afraid to go into.

I was assessing all of this as we made our way to the front door, no porch, just a cut out path to a plain wooden door.

The front door opened before we got to it, a very worried Esme stood on the other side.

"Alice dear what are you-" She stopped mid-sentence when she caught sight of me, then her face held an emotion that can only be told as shock.

"Bella?" She asked incredulously.

"I guess no one told you I moved here." I said trying to lighten the mood.

She flew in front of me and pulled me into a hug.

"Oh, I'm so glad to have you back honey."

"Me too." My voice jumped up about five octaves as tears fell from my eyes.

"Oh baby what's wrong?" She pulled away, her hands on my arms, _thank goodness I'm wearing a long sleeved top._

I shook my head. "I've just gone threw a lot." I told her.

Esme has always been like a mother to me and it made me miss Renee even more. I used to think that I was the mother in our relationship but actually I never was. Renee just liked to live life to it's fullest and wanted me to as well. I just never planned on loosing her so soon.

Thinking about Renee made my cry even more as I tried to wipe my tears away. Esme and Alice guided me into the house and sat me down on one of the sofas. Both of them sitting at either side.

I cryed into Esme's sholder for about five minutes before I decided to suck it up and carry on. I was here to become friends with Alice again not ruin our time by crying. I'll admit it took me about 3 times before I actually stopped the tears and started to even out my breathing.

"Bella, do you want to talk?" Alice asked me the same question she asked me earlier.

I shook my head. "Can you tell me what you've all been up to, I think that would be easier."

"I'm not sure that will make you feel any better Bella. We haven't been up to much," she admitted.

"No one said that talking about it would make me _feel_ any better either," I whispered.

"Ok then. Where should I start off?" Alice asked.

"When me and-...after the party." The word _party_ didn't even sound right and I winced at the thought of it. That's where everything started, or you could say ended. It was the begining of the end.

"Well after you left we all went about doing our things. I was...comforting Jasper, he felt so bad that guilty doesn't even cover it. He still believes it's his fault that...all this happened because he almost killed you. No matter how many times I will tell him other wise and no matter how many times Edward-sorry, told him that it wasn't his fault, that it was him that pushed you into the piano and made everything worse. Jasper just wont believe anyone."

"He shouldn't. It was my fault, I shouldn't have been so careless. He was simply reacting naturally to my blood. He was never at fault. Actually he was dealing with everyone's thirst, not just his own. What he felt was six other vampires thirst along with his own. He's stronger than anyone realises, he's not weak he has to deal with everone's emotions. He's stronger than everyone." I finished.

"Thank you Bella." I jumped around to see Jasper standing by the door way. His brothers standing behind him. "That means a lot to me. Please forgive me for my behaviour on your-"

I interrupted him, not allowing myself to go back to that time. "There was never anything to forgive Jasper, you did no wrong. I'm the one who should be apologising. I'm the one that came into your lives and messed everything up. You were all fine before me, then I came along and destroyed your perfectly good lives. I'm sorry."

"No Bella don't you be sorry. I should never have got you involved with my world. It's not where you're supposed to be. If I had left you alone, you would have led a happy human life. I put you in nothing but danger. You never belonged with us. I should never have even of came back from Denali. I should have made us leave long before I met you." Edward's words hit home. He shattered every peice that was once my heart into so many pieces that I was sure I'd never be able to find it again. If I ever thought that my heart couldn't be broke any more, I was wrong. I was deadly wrong.

My shoulders slumped and my eyes watered again. My breath escaping my lungs in a woosh. I was left breathless and broken. At the other side of the room Jasper fell to the floor, clutching his chest. His mouth opened but no sound came out. Alice was at his side in an instant. I took this as my time to go.

"I have to leave," I choked out. "You don't...I can't...I'm sorry." I tried to stand up. My right hand gripping onto my collar above my heart. My left arm wrapped around my torso. I took a step and stumbled.

"Jasper. JASPER! What's the matter? What's wrong?" Alice's screams drowned my ears.

"Bella," he choked out. I realised then that my pain was effecting Jasper. He was an empath after all. I tried to contain my pain. I tried to hide it. I needed to sort myself out. I needed to stop the pain. I needed to get away. It was my only option.

I ran to the door, heading to my truck. But a pair of cold arms encircled me before I could get out of the room and hulsted me up. They pushed me to their chest.

"Let me go. Let me GO!" I screamed, kicked and thrashed about. Trying to get out of the steal bars that held me hostage.

"You're not going anywhere." A voice whispered in my ear. I slumped. Not having any energy to keep fighting. Giving in. They could kill me now for all I cared. They'd be doing me a favour.

I washed all my emotion away. I drained all the hurt, pain and grief down from my body and out of my system. I became emotionless and numb.

_Finally_, I had found out how to numb myself of all feeling.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jasper getting up. Alice held onto his elbows and hugged him tight. He walked over to my side and crouched down so that he could see my face. I was being a dead weight and my face was looking at the ground. I didn't make any eye contact with him.

"How did you do that?" He asked incredulously. I simply took in a deep breath and moved my eyes to the left. His eyes were filled with curiosity and wonder along with what seemed to be like awe. He was in awe of me.

I didn't give him an answer. I didn't respond except for my eye movement.

He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head up to his level.

"How did you just block it all out? How did you make it all go away? How could you ignore such pain?"

Again I didn't respond, just hang there in the arms of my capture.

"Bella answer him." Edward's soft voice whispered to me from his arms. But I didn't listen, why should I? He just told me he regretted me entering his life and that I don't belong with his kind. If I didn't belong with the supernatural and I didn't fit with the humans then that meant I didn't belong anywhere.

Jasper grimaced. "I don't think you should talk to her." He told him. I could feel Edward tense up. "You're making her feel worse." Jasper explained.

"No." I whimpered. Tensing up slightly.

"How are you keeping your feelings locked up Bella? You shouldn't do that. It's not safe. Let your feelings out, I can deal with them." Jasper tried to convince me but I didn't budge. I knew I couldn't make Jasper go through what I am feeling. That would be like manslaughter.

"No." I whimpered again.

"Place her on the sofa, she can't be comfortable like that," Jasper ordered Edward. His name didn't hurt anymore. I wouldn't let it.

I felt myself being pulled up again and then I was staring up at the ceiling. I was in Edward's arms bridal style. Being caried like a baby to the sofa.

I felt myself being placed down onto the crook of the sofa. Between the arm rest and the back. I pulled my legs up to my chest and placed my chin on top of my knees, my arms encircling them.

In all the chaos Esme had gone to get some blankets. She wrapped them around me, tucking the ends in behind my back. I didn't move, only made eye-contact with her and blinked. I wasn't trying to be rude, I knew that if I said anymore, if I some much as nodded my head, the pain would return. I didn't want to feel the pain, I just wanted to stay numb.

I wanted to move. I wanted to leave. I needed to. But I couldn't, I physically couldn't. Although I felt numb, I felt so weak that I was scared to move my arms just in case they dropped off. With what little strength I had I gripped onto my knees for dear life.

Emmett made his first appearance since the art room incident. He sat down on the floor by my head.

"Hey Bells, what's with all the 'freaking out after touching someone' buisness?" Using his fingers to make air quotations.

I turned my head to the side, so my right temple was resting on my knees. I looked at him a sighed, I didn't want to talk.

"Has someone hurt you Bells?" he asked. I stared at him.

A good ten seconds later he tried again. "Has someone abused you?" Again I didn't answer, truly I had. Edward had hurt me and in a sense he had abused me.

"Has anyone ever hit or attacked you?" Now this I could answer without sounding like a pathetic human and well, spilling myself out.

"No," I whispered.

"Is 'no' the only word you're going to say." He was trying to break the tension. He was being Emmett. He was keeping his promise and living up to the name of big brother.

I tried to crack a smile, honest I did, but it felt wrong, it felt forced and twisted. It felt empty.

My bag came hurdling towards me. I didn't flinch and I didn't even blink. Just let it fly at me and hit my legs and arm. It fell to the floor. I frowned at it. It was open and my notebook had landed in Emmett's lap.

I wanted to reach out and grab it. I wanted to snatch it away and stop him from opening it. That note book was like my diary, except I didn't write 'dear diary' and I didn't write in it every day. It held all of my lyrics, drawings and a few confessions. It was the one thing that I was able to let my feelings out on. It wouldn't judge me and I never had to show it to anyone. I never planned to.

And even though I know I should be worried, even though I know I should stop him from turning the pages, I don't. I just sit there and look down at the pages as Emmett skims through them.

He looks up at me and smiles. "You're quite the song writer, poet and artist aren't you? You have quite a way with words." He complimented me and I rolled my eyes.

It was nice of him to say that, he didn't judge me for it but simply took it on board. He was proving to be more reliable by the second.

He handed me back the book. I turned it to one of my first completed songs. I skimmed over the lyrics, smiling to myself. Well it probably looked like a grimace from the outside, but I was proud of this song. It was my first song that actually had a structure, not just some lyrics put together.

"Play it for us." Emmett nudged me. I looked at him.

"I can't sing." I told him, truly I didn't know if I could sing. I knew I was able to sing a song but that didn't mean that I was bearable to others listening. I once recorded my voice and I sounded so different to how I hear my voice, it actually scared me. _Come on I was only seven_. But it still made me wonder if I sounded as all right to other people as I do to myself.

"Anyone can sing Bella," Emmet pushed.

I huffed. "I don't know if I'm bearable to listen to," I told him.

"I'm sure you'll be fine and if you don't, I'll scream at you to stop." He grinned at me, showing me that he was playing around.

"It sounds a lot better with an instrument." I was trying desperately to get out of this. This song was one of my favourites simply because, like all my songs, it reveals my feelings and I can tell you now, if you haven't already noticed, I'm not a happy person. And that's putting it feather lightly.

"What do you need? Piano, guitar, base..." He trailed off, trying to make the offer more appealing.

I sighed. "It's best with my electric guitar but it's at my house and I doubt-" I stopped mid sentence. My eyes bulged as I saw what Alice held in her hands.

It looked exactly like my electric guittar, same make and model, hell, it even had the same pick woven through the strings at the top of the neck. But it was shiny and obviously had never been touched or was brand new. Either one wouldn't have surprised me.

"How the...who's is that?" Slipping my legs away from me and tucking them under my butt, my hands on the edge of the couch.

"It's one we had for a long time, Emmet brought it to learn but never got very far, his fingers are too fat." She giggled and I cracked a smile.

"Hey, it's not my fault there isn't enough space between the strings!." He defended himself but he was smiling too.

"Are you sure? I don't want to..." I didn't know what to say, _I don't want to play? I don't want to make you hear me sing?_

Really I was scared, singing this song was like me ripping my skin open and saying _"Hey look inside and see just how broken I am."_ I have kept my emotions bottled up inside me for so long it scares me to let them out.

"Yes I'm sure, now sing for us." Emmet stood up and handed me the guitar.

"It needs an amp and tuning" I told him as I stummed my fingers over the strings, wincing at how out of tune it was. This thing really needed playing.

Emmet disappeared but only to return a second later, amp and wires in hand. It was a small amp, probably about 10w but it would be as loud as I needed it.

I tuned the guitar, biting the pick every time I had to move the tuning machine. Eventually it was in tune and plugged up and I knew the inevitable was going to happen. I had tried to prolong this as much as possible, while still wanting to look as if I knew what I was doing. When I wanted to, I could tune and hook up my guitar in under 10 minutes, but I had been playing very often recently.

I took a deep breath.

"Go on Bella!" Emmet cheered, I looked up and smiled timidly at him.

I took another deep breath and started stumming. My voice soft, I started to sing.

**"Do you every feel like breaking down?**

**Do you ever feel out of place?**

**Like somehow you just don't belong,**

**And no one understands you?**

**Do you ever wanna run away?**

**Do you lock yourself in your room?**

**With the radio on turned up so loud,**

**That no one hears you screaming?"**

I made my voice a bit harder, wanting to convey my annoyance through these lyrics.

**"No you don't know what it's like,**

**When nothing feels alright,**

**You don't know what it's like,**

**To be like me."**

I paused slightly, changing my tone to show my sorrow.

**"To be hurt,**

**To feel lost,**

**To be left out in the dark,**

**To be kicked when you're down,**

**And feel like you've been pushed around.**

**To be on the edge of breaking down,**

**and no one's there to save you.**

**No you don't know what it's like,**

**Welcome to my life."**

I faked enthusiasm, making the last line sound sarcastic. I asked them now, wanting to sound sincere and understanding.

**"Do you wanna be somebody else?**

**Are you sick of feeling so left out?**

**Are you desperate to find something more,**

**before your life is over?**

**Are you stuck inside a world that you hate?**

**Are you sick of everyone around?**

**With their big fake smiles and stupid lies,**

**While deep inside you're bleeding?**

**No you don't know what it's like,**

**When nothing feels alright,**

**You don't know what it's like,**

**To be like me.**

**To be hurt.**

**To feel lost.**

**To be left out in the dark."**

I made my voice huskier, wanting to show my anger.

**"To be kicked when you're down.**

**To feel like you've been push around.**

**To be on the edge of breaking down,**

**And no one's there to save you.**

**No you don't know what it's like,**

**Welcome to my life!"**

My heart was pounding as I got close to the climax of the song, this was the part that really showed my anger.

**"No one every lied straight to your face,**

**And no one ever stabbed you in the back,**

**You might think I'm happy,**

**But I'm not gonna be ok.**

**Everybody always gave you what you wanted,**

**Never had to work it was always there.**

**You don't know what it's like,**

**What it's like."**

My voice shook as I felt my emotions start to come back, slowly they slipped back. Pain and hopeless causing my voice to become small.

**"To be hurt.**

**To feel lost.**

**To be left out in the dark.**

**To be kicked when you're down,**

**And feel like you've been pushed around."**

I got angry again and changed the tempo to a faster beat.

**"To be on the edge of breaking down,**

**And no one's there to save you.**

**No you don't know what it's like.**

**To be hurt.**

**To feel lost.**

**To be left out in the dark.**

**To be kicked when you're down,**

**To feel like you've been pushed around.**

**To be on the edge of breakng down,**

**But no one's there to save you.**

**No you don't know what it's like."**

I slowed my stumming down, and sang the last few verses bearly above a whisper.

**"Welcome to my life.**

**Welcome to my life.**

**Welcome to my life."**

I looked up from my spot in front of them. They stared back at me, unmoving. It was unnerving.

"Ta-daa?"

* * *

><p><strong>Shout out to<em> catalysand<em>** **for reviewing and her lovely words.**

**A huge thank you to my beta, she's gave me a new confidence **

**and now I want to write and write, just for her.**

**I'm giving up on asking you all to review.**

**You don't review and now when it comes to another chapter and still no reviews, ****I don't care. **

**I'm writting this for me, and if you like it you like it and if you don't you don't.**

**If you want something to happen or something to change then tell me.**

**Otherwise I'm giving it the ending _I_ want. **

**So if you don't review I'm fine with it and if you do, well... you'll make my day.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Song for this chapter: _Simple Plan, Welcome to my life._**

**^  
>l<br>l  
>l<br>l**

**AWSOME SONG!**


	18. Cry little sister!

**A/N: bold-Emmet _Bold Italics-Esme and Alice. _You'll know what I'm on about when you read it ;)**

**Disclamer: Just like everyone in the fandom world I don't own Twilight or Evermore or any of these songs.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

_I looked up from my spot in front of them. They stared back at me, unmoving. It was unnerving._

"Ta-daa?" I more or less asked. It snapped them out of their trances and soon their eyes filled up with pain. I furrowed my brows. I didn't want them to be in pain.

Edward moved first. He stood up abruptly, looked me dead in the eye and muttered "I'm sorry," before running away. That's all it took, like an elastic band being stretched too far, I snapped.

I looked at Emmett, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. "Was I that bad?" My voice cracked, giving away my pain.

He was next to me in a heartbeat. "Oh, no Bella. You were amazing. I never expected you to be _that_ good," he rushed to reassure me. Trying to make me laugh.

"But...?" I didn't finish my question, finding it very difficult to contain the tears.

"Edward was just being a prick!" Emmett said bitterly.

"Emmett..." Esme warned him.

"But it's true, he's hurt Bella. Anyone who hurts Bella is a- well you know, and that includes him too. Especially him!" Emmett sounded very angry and it made me see just how protective he was of me.

"Emmett...I don't want you to fight over me," I told him slowly, the water building in my eyes and my voice thick.

"Bellsie..." He said sympathetically and pulled me into a big hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to feel some comfort. I held on tighter, hoping he would too, I was falling apart in his arms.

Suddenly we were on the sofa and I could feel not only Emmett's arms around me, but Alice's and Esme's too. I sobbed into Emmett's chest and he crushed me to him. And it was just what I needed.

He started to murmur a song to me, I had never heard it before and it spiked my interest.

**"A last fire will rise,**

**Behind those eyes,**

**Black house will rock,**

**Blind boys don't lie!**

**Immortal fear,**

**That voice so clear,**

**Through broken walls,**

**That scream I hear!"**

He started to get more confident now and was singing openly, I had to concentrate to hear him over my sobs though.

**"Cry little sister!"**

Emmett stopped, Alice and Esme started to join in, forming a small harmony.

_**"Thou shall not fall."**_

Emmett was being the lead singer with Esme and Alice as his background singers.

**"Come, come to your brother."**

Again Alice and Esme sang echoing the backing verse.

_**"Thou shall not die"**_

Emmet sang over them again.

**"Yeyeah, unchain me, sister."**

_**"Thou shall not fear"**_

**"Love is with your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not kill"**_

Emmett's voice started to get more raspy and I had never heard him sound so...un-Emmett.

**"Blue masquerade,**

**Strangers look on, **

**When will they learn this loneliness?**

**Temptation heat beats like a drum **

**Deep in your veins, I will not lie**

**Little sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fall"**_

**"Come, come to your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not die"**_

**"Unchain me, sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fear"**_

**"Love is with your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not kill"**_

He started to sound sad and regretful, it almost made me cry again.

**"My shangri-las,**

**I can't forget,**

**Why you were mine,**

**I need you now,**

**Cry, little sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fall"**_

**"Come, come to your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not die"**_

**"Unchain me sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fear"**_

Emmett was in full singing mode and he was really showing his emotions through this song.

**"Love is with your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not kill"**_

**"Cry little sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fall"**_

**"Come, come to your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not die"**_

Emmett started to whisper in my ear, making his words so much more powerful.

**"Unchain me, sister"**

_**"Thou shall not fear"**_

**"Love is with your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not kill"**_

**"Cry little sister!"**

_**"Thou shall not die"**_

**"Love is with your brother"**

_**"Thou shall not fear"**_

Their voices faded away as the song came to an end and my sobs were reduced to sniffles. I looked up at Emmett from his lap, tears in my eyes.

"Oh, Emmett..." I hugged him with all my might. He pulled me closer and coughed.

"Um, Bells could you loosen your grip?" he asked innocently, (a look of surprise at the strength I had). I retracted immediatly, fearing I had hurt him.

"Oh gosh Emmett! I didn't mean to hurt you." I started to climb off his lap but he pulled me back.

"I'm fine, you just took me by surprise," he told me.

I nodded. "Thank you." I looked at him, then Alice and Esme. Jasper had been watching us through out the show. I blushed and he smiled at me.

"You're a brilliant singer Bella, when did you write that song?" he asked curiously.

"Um, I don't know exactly when, but it was after someone said they knew what I was going through, I got angry and decided to write a song on my thoughts. It was my only way of getting it out of my system without having to talk to anyone." I told him honestly.

"Oh Bella, you can talk to us," Esme and Alice said at the same time. I smiled at them, wanting to laugh.

"I know but...it's difficult...I'm so used to keeping everything inside...it's just so hard." My voice broke on the last word. I sighed, frustrated at myself.

"Jasper, can you stop me from crying again?" I asked him. I didn't want to feel sad, I was done with crying. For now at least.

"Sure Bells, but you've got to let me in," he said. I nodded and opened myself up. I felt a wave of calm crash over me and I was so relieved and grateful of it, that I smiled.

"Thank you Jasper," I said, the most enthusiasticly I have since_-no don't go there you can save that for later._

"No problem, I really appreciate what you said. I never believed anyone else before but, coming from you, it's lifted the weight a bit." He smiled warily.

"It's fine and that's truly what I think, Jasper. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for." I told him.

"I could say the same thing to you," he responded. He shot me a small smile and walked out the room. The peace he had created lingering in the air.

Alice turned to me, "Thank you so much Bella. For being my friend again, for trusting me and for taking the burden off my husband's shoulders."

My smile faltered slightly at the end of her sentence. "You're welcome Alice and thank you for helping me."

She gave me a hug and went after Jasper, obviously wanting to enjoy his good mood.

My heart started to sting from Alice's words. How she was so happy that her _husband_ was now happy. I wish I had that. I did have that. I mean, I had that once. And now it's gone. Sucking in a shuddering breath I tried to hold myself together,_ just long enough to not break down again _and hold it long enough to get me back to my house. Not home. House.

Esme got up. "I'd best get you some food." She looked down at me.

"Oh no, you don't need to do that Esme. I don't eat much and I'm not hungry, most of it will go to waste." I didn't want to waste their money.

"It's fine, Bella dear. We need to keep up appearances anyway, so we get human food, just normaly we dispose of it. Am I right to expect to see you around here often? If that's ok with Charlie of course?" She asked so sweetly, she was being so kind. It choked me up.

My lip quivered so I bit down on it. Hard. I couldn't talk, so only nodded my head. Why did I have to be so weak? Why couldn't I just stand the mention of their names or memories? _Because you killed them remember? You're a murderer._

"Oh Bella what's wrong?" She was scared and concerned. I guess me crying all the time was getting to her. She opened her arms to hold me.

"I don't want to cry anymore. I don't wanna..." I sounded like a spoilt child that got told the 'no' word.

She pulled me off Emmett's lap and into her own. "I understand honey, I understand." She chanted over and over again. Her right hand keeping my head on her shoulder and combing through my hear.

I wanted to get out of here and wallow in my misery on my own, I felt exposed and I hated it. Yet again I cut off my emotions. Refusing to let them out until later.

I pulled away and smiled at her but, yet again, it was empty. I saw the sadness in her eyes and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you Esme."

"We're all here for you Bella, you can talk to any one of us," she stated.

I smiled at her again and stood up to let her stand.

"I'm going to get the groceries now, I'll be back in a bit."

_And then there was two._

Emmett looked at me. "So what you wanna do now?"

"Um, I don't know. Could you pass me my note book?" I pointed at the tattered pile of paper that was on the other side of the sofa, as I sat back down.

He grabbed it and passed it to me. "So you going to write something?" he asked.

"Yeah, I got a couple of things brewing inside here." I tapped my temple.

"Cool, can I observe?" he asked scooting closer to get a better look.

"Sure, but I can't guaranty you anything nice or entertaining."

He eyed me. "I can't expect a miracle right now can I?" He made his voice light but the words were serious.

I didn't say anything, just turned to a fresh page. I started to jot things down and, as I flicked through some of my pages, I realised some of my older lyrics went with these new ones.

And so a new song was born.

* * *

><p><strong>Big shout outs to: <strong>

**gladiator446 for THREE lovely reviews and recomending Immortal Bella to friends**

**catalysand for staying in touch and giving me reasurences**

**And of course my AMAZING beta Caketin3336 who puts up with my endless ranting.**

**Also my best friend Georgia who HOPEFULLY is reading this. Yeah I miss you loads *crys***

**Thank you to the people who put this story and MYSELF! on their favs and alerts.**

**It means a lot and reviews make me write more. ;)**


	19. Exit wounds

**A/N: Thank you for waiting. Heres the chapter that _Beauty and the beast_ delayed.**

**Disclamer: If I owned _Twilight, Evermore_ or the songs I would be very pleased with myself. But I don't, so I'm not. *tears roll down cheek***

* * *

><p><strong>"My hands are cold,<br>****My body's numb.  
><strong>**I'm still in shock,  
><strong>**What have you done? **

**My head is pounding,  
><strong>**My vision's blurred.  
><strong>**Your mouth is moving,  
><strong>**I don't, hear a word. **

**And it hurts so bad,  
><strong>**That I search my skin  
><strong>**For the entry point  
><strong>**Where love**** went in **

**And recoched  
><strong>**And bounced around  
><strong>**And left a hole  
><strong>**When you walked out. Yeah. **

**I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room  
><strong>**Can anybody help me with these exit wounds? **

**I don't know how much more love  
><strong>**This heart can loose and I'm dying,  
><strong>**Dying from these exit wounds,  
><strong>**Wounds where there leaving,  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping.  
><strong>**Exit wounds Where there leaving  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping **

**Marks a battle, I still feel raw  
><strong>**A million pieces of me on the floor. **

**I'm damaged goods for all to see,  
><strong>**Now who would ever wanna be with me?  
><strong>**I've got all the baggage, I drink the pills  
><strong>**Yeah this is livin' but with-out the will.  
><strong>**I'm blacking out I'm shutting down  
><strong>**You left a hole when you walked out, yeah. **

**I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room  
><strong>**Can anybody help me with these exit wounds? **

**I don't know how much more love  
><strong>**This heart can loose and I'm dying,  
><strong>**Dying from these exit wounds,  
><strong>**Wounds where they're leaving  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping  
><strong>**Exit wounds where there leaving  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping, yeah. **

**Loose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are.  
><strong>**Loose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are.  
><strong>**Loose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are.  
><strong>**Loose your clothes and show your scars. **

**Marks a battle, I still feel raw.  
><strong>**A million pieces of me, on the floor. **

**I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room.  
><strong>**Can anybody help me with these exit wounds, **

**I don't know how much more love  
><strong>**This heart can loose and I'm dying,  
><strong>**Dying from these exit wounds,  
><strong>**Wounds where they're leaving  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping  
><strong>**Exit wounds where they're leaving  
><strong>**The scars you're keeping." **

I looked up to Emmett. "What did you think?"

He stared at me, his mouth agape. "You came up with that, all on your own?" he asked me, sounding shocked.

"Yeah, you did just watch me write it all out for the past...How long?" I looked around the room, no clock in sight. I looked out the window, a wall of black staring back at me.

"Oh shit," I breathed.

"Do you need to go home?" Esme asked from behind me. I spun around.

"Um...yeah, I...need to go, what time is it?" I didn't want to leave, I had just started to get used to being around people, I didn't like the thought of being on my own again. But then again, the thought of staying the night wasn't any better.

"Nine thirty," Alice chirped, skipping down the stairs.

"Yeah, I _really_ need to go." I put down the guitar and grabbed my bag, stashing my notebook inside.

"You can sleep here. We don't mind," Alice offered. I stopped in my tracks. I slowly turned to face her.

"Oh no, I couldn't do that. I've already taken up your day and now you want me to take the whole night? No, I can't stay." I was trying to be polite, I didn't want to hurt their feelings. _I only just got them back._

"No it's fine Bella, you don't have anyone to go back to, do you?" She was trying to corner me but I wasn't going to stay the night. I was dead set on going back to my house.

"No, but I can't stay the night. I'm sorry but I just _can't_." I put emphasis on 'can't' trying to convince her.

I walked to the door. "But no one's there, you'll be on your own. Whereas here you'd have plenty of people around you. Surely you don't want to go back to an empty house."

My hand paused before it touched the door knob. It clenched into a fist and I pulled it back. But before I could hit anything, all the strength in my arm washed away and I just rested my knuckles on the wood.

"No," I whispered, bowing my head.

"Well then, stay here. You can sleep anywhere you like and I have a pair of pj's you can borrow and some clothes that would fit you." She was trying to get me to stay, but I wasn't going to. I couldn't make them go through it. It was bad enough that _Charlie_ had to bear it, I wasn't about to allow them to as well.

"No. I have to go, I can't stay Alice. I can't." I was pleading with her, with them. _They've had enough of my break downs, they don't need to see any more._

"Why can't you stay, you wont be any trouble. We could make it a sleep over." Alice always wanted to make things fun and now she was trying to tempt me. It was too much and I could feel myself loosing my control. _If one of them ask me to stay again. I swear to God I'll explode in anger. _

"Please Bella, we want to look after you." _That's it_. I just wanted to go to my house and they weren't even allowing me to leave. After all they've done, you'd think they'd allow me to go back to my own house!

"I don't want to stay, I can't stay. What about that don't you understand? I'll tell you want you don't understand! Because none of you seem to understand just how broken I am." I whirled around to face them.

"I'll tell you. I don't want to stay the night because I don't want you all to hear me screaming in the night ok? Is that alright with you? I don't want you to hear me scream in my sleep. For fuck's sake! I woke Charlie up every fucking night because I screamed so loud! I didn't want you all to know about it. I thought you'd all seen enough of 'broken Bella' but obviously you haven't seen enough!" I was screeching at them. I'd lost control and the words were just spilling from my mouth.

"You have no idea how much your leaving affected me! You have no fucking idea how I felt when you all just up'd left me. I have nightmares because of it. I scream so loud I wake _myself_ up! I haven't had one nights sleep since the day you all left! You have no idea, no idea..." I was running out of steam and as I looked them all in the eye, and I mean all of them, I crumpled to the floor.

A pale white hand was coming towards me and I turned to see who had dared to approach me. "Bella," his smooth voice now rough with the pain that was in his eyes.

"Don't touch me," I whispered. Still the hand came closer. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me!" My voice rose in volume as I started to stand. "You have no right to touch me! You leave me alone, don't even think about talking to me. After all you did to me and you think you still have the right to touch me?" I screamed at him. Getting in his face but he didn't back up.

"You left me! You're the reason I'm so fucked up! You made everyone leave, did you even consider their opinion? No you didn't, you just told them to move, didn't give them a choice. You didn't even let me say good bye to them! You can't dictate people's lives! You can't treat people how ever you please! Why did you make them all leave? Why did you leave me all alone?" My voice squeaked but I stayed angry, pausing only to hear his answer.

"I was trying to protect you." It came out barely above a whisper.

"Well you obviously failed didn't you? And where the hell did you think that leaving me would protect me? Did you forget about all the times I almost died? I would have died long ago if it wasn't for you. God damn it! I should be dead. They shouldn't have died. Of all of us I should be the one to die! I killed them! I'm the reason they're dead!"

I turned around now to see the scared, sad and pained faces of the rest of the Cullen's. Edward still trapped in front of me. I turned back to him.

"If you hadn't of left. If you had just stayed. If you had left me alone! They wouldn't have died. They would still be here. And I'd be dead. I'd be dead and I'd be out of pain. If you had just stayed away I wouldn't be broken. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you! I would have been fine! But no you just had to go and play with the silly little human that was just so odd and fun to play about with and poke and prod. I feel like a fucking experiment. But you know what?" I didn't give them time to answer.

"This experiments gone wrong. It's gone fucking horribly wrong and when you got bored of me you just left me! And now that I'm different and I'm fucked up. You're all on me again. Do I look like a fucking puppet?

"I believed you. That's the worst. I believed that someone like you, so glorious and brilliant and perfect. Could love something like me. And you know what? You didn't keep your promise. It could never be like you didn't exist and you know why? Because you haunted me, you bastard. And now that Charlie and Jake and Renee and Phil are gone, I have nothing to live for. I don't even know why I didn't kill myself sooner. The only thing that stopped me was Jake, he was still with me. And you'll never guess what he did. He came back for me. He actually gave a shit about me and came back. His ghost is the only thing that's stopped me from killing myself and I don't even understand why. I mean, you left me, Alice, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle too and then just as I was starting to...I don't know!...Charlie, Renee, Phil and Jake leave me. Fucking everyone left me! All. A. Lone."

I was in his face and he didn't even flinch. A corner of my top lip curling up, making me snarl at him.

"I never meant to hurt you. I never...I was trying to protect you. I always put you in danger. Even in my own home you was in danger. My own family could have killed you!_ I_ almost killed you! Don't you get how dangerous I am? I'm no good for you. Every minute I was with you I put you in danger. Just sitting next to me, I could have killed you. Don't you remember? On your first day, in the biology room. I almost killed you then. I almost killed the whole class! I was willing to kill all of them! Just to get to you." He moved closer now, his breath in my face. I was hypnotized.

"Just being in my mere presence puts your life on the line. So I figured if I took myself out of the picture you'd be safer." He pulled back a bit and I let my brain take it all in. Then I knew just what to say.

"You didn't realise it did you? Jake was right, for as smart as they say you are, you're one dumb ass vampire. I was always in danger, with or without you. You saved my life countless times and then you left. It was almost as if you didn't want me to die like that. _You_ wanted to kill me. Well guess what. I'd take the pain of James' attack. I'd take that a thousand times and it still wouldn't hurt as much as when you left me. Did you even hear me calling your name out? Did it even occur to you that you left me in the woods? I walked for hours just trying to find you. They said I was lucky I didn't die out there. The only thing is, I _did_ die out there. The moment you...the moment you broke my heart was the moment I died." I spat at him. Well not literally but I said it all in a way that made it seem like it was a bad taste in my mouth.

"I didn't know you felt that way about me. You're a human! You're feelings change and memories fade. I took everything that could have reminded you, of me, away. God damn it Bella, why can't you see I was trying to protect you! I left you _for_ you! I broke myself and my family just to keep you out of my harm. It hurt me just as much, if not more! I had to leave you! I could see you believing every word I said. How the hell could you believe such blasphemy? After the countless times I told you 'I love you' no matter how many times I said you are my existence. I tell you _once_ that I didn't love you. I told you such a foul lie and you believed it! Tell me why you believed that." He got back in my face and his expression showed nothing but anger. And for a fleeting moment I was scared.

"It never made any sense to me why you loved me. It made more sense that it was all an act, that I could comprehend. I could make sense of it. But that didn't lessen my pain. No, it only made it worse. How foolish of me was it to believe, even for a second, that you could love me. And I feel so damn bad for Charlie, because he had to spend his first and last Christmas with his daughter that was no different from a zombie! I wasted our last Christmas together, sulking and crying over _you_! How much I missed _you_! How much I wished I could argue with _you_ not to get me anything! That Christmas was crap, so how the fuck am I supposed to get through this Christmas when I truly am alone? I took them all for granted. I took you all for granted. You promised me you'd love me for forever and always! But you left me. You fucked up my life. You made my life perfect only to break it and smash it into a thousand pieces!"

"For Christ's sake Bella. It was a lie! I lied to you! Every day, every minute, every_ second _that I was away from you was excruciating. I was a crumpled heap for months before Alice found me. I ran and hid from my own family just so they didn't see me like that. You was my whole existence, my whole world and I just threw you away. After all those times I saved your life _I_ broke you. _I_ hurt you! Don't you see the monster that I am?" He roared at me.

I stood my ground and stared him in the eye. My mind was blank, the wheels in my head were working over time but I had nothing to say. I just stood there panting.

"So what does this mean then? What are you saying?" I asked him.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you, I loved you then and I love you now. Please give me another chance," he begged. But I knew he was a good actor. He always was.

"Why should I believe you?" My heart was still pounding in my chest and it wasn't going to slow down anytime soon.

"Because...because...I..." I had never seen Edward at a loss for words. He was always calm and collected. Always knew what to say and when. Now though he was pausing. He was being so _human_.

"That's what I thought, you always was a good actor. You don't have to act anymore. I'm leaving, you won't have to be bothered about me anymore." I didn't want to stay a second longer. I wasn't about to let him break me all over again. I wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Bella wait!" He bellowed as I opened the door.

He was in front of me in a flash, blocking my exit.

"Please don't go, don't do this to me," he pleaded. I looked into his eyes and saw the pain of the world in them. I saw the same pain in his eyes that I'm sure was in mine too. It made me pause, it made me think. I knew that amount of pain couldn't be acted.

"Please stay, please give me another chance. I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you but I'm going to be selfish because I can't live without you. Emmett told you that our emotions never change and when they do it's permanent. My love for you is permanent. And like our senses it's enhanced so strongly that it could never change. It could never be a lie, it could never die. My love for you is forever. I will love you for every second of forever. I have and always will love you. Please believe me," he murmured.

"I can't," I told him honestly. That seemed to make him angry again.

"How can you believe a lie but not the truth?"

"I don't see how you can love me."

"You don't see how I can love you." He nodded his head, his top lip twitching as he looked away. It was almost as if he was agreeing with me.

In one big stride he held my face in his hands. Big mistake. My body went on red alert and I tried franticly to get out of his grasp. It didn't work. No matter how fast I try to get away, as soon as someone's skin touches mine I get their life story. No matter how big or how miniscule that touch is.

Edward's life flashed before my eyes and my brain soaked it all up like a sponge to water.

_**A beautifully ageless lady stood on the porch of a new Victorian house, a huge smile plastered on her face. Running, running and the thrill of the chase, finally being tackled to the floor by a lean man with the same unruly hair as Edward, the only difference between him and the man was the mans eyes were scorching hazel and his hair a muddy brown. The sorrow as friends and family members died around him, the influenza hitting full blow. The beautiful lady with the same copper coloured hair as Edward's looking after him as he lay on an old hospital gurney. The burning pain and pure shock and fear of what was happening, a very professional looking Carlisle at his side. Too many voices talking at once, some louder than others. Stalking the evil in the dead of night, using mind reading to determine if they were a worthy meal. Blood read eyes looking back at the deviously handsome man staring into the clear water. Years of repeating the same education over and over. The white hot fire, tensing of muscles and venom pooling in his mouth, a scent so over poweringly beautiful and all in a hands reach. Falling in love with a klutz of a human. The gut-wrenching fear of his everything being ripped away from him. Seeing an angel, broken and near death but still fighting and trying to calm the guilt. Seeing as she puts her life on the line under his own roof. Having to keep the mask on while seeing her break from his twisted words. Months of endless, unimaginable pain. Being dragged back to a place called home and learning to deal with the empty void that was left behind. Hope, when she appears again. Trying to get a chance to talk to her. Waiting to put everything right. Listening as the Angel sings of her fall. Trying to convince her to listen. And loud, screaming voice's shouting. **_

"BELLA! BELLA! Can you hear me? Come back to me!" I could hear Edward's scared voice shouting somewhere close. His voice more frantic than the others.

I became aware of my surroundings. From the way my hair was falling away from me I guessed I was laying down or being cradled. There was nothing underneath me except for the cold, iron arms that held me above the ground.

I blinked, lifting my torso up. The arms supporting me and placing me in a sitting position.

"Bella, oh God Bella. Are you ok? I'm so sorry.I'm-"

"Fine. I'm fine." His breath was fanning over my face, he was so close. Too close. Too tempting. My hands sought out his hair as I brought my lips to his. They crashed and molded to my own. I pushed forward, wanting to get closer and he pushed back. The electric current between us, going straight to my heart. He tried to pull away but I held him there. Not allowing him to move. Then I finally released him when my lungs felt like they would burst.

I gasped for air and for once it didn't feel bad, it didn't feel like I'd never catch my breath. This feeling, I remembered it. But never of this intensity before and I loved it. I craved for more and I opened my eyes to seek out his lips, again.

When my vision cleared and the blurry haze was removed I saw him. His eyes closed, his head resting on the back of the sofa, where I now lay. He was panting but his face was calm. Not at all alarmed.

A chuckle came from beside me, but far off. I turned to see Emmett.

"You'd think they just ran a marathon!" he commented. At that I had to smile, and for the first time in almost a year it was genuine.

* * *

><p><strong>First a shout out for <em>Catalysand, Gladiator446<em> and _Cullen freak888 _for their always amazing reviews and support. It really means a lot.**

**Shout out to my brilient Beta Caketin3336 for as always making my story 10 times better.  
>(my spelling is awful)<strong>

**And to my BFF Georgia, she's catching up with us and it means soo much that she likes my story and for always being there for me and putting up with me for the past two and a bit years. I know I would have left me by now but that doesn't mean I'd ever leave you!**

**It means so much that you all enjoy it!**

**Anyone who needs someone to talk to, I'm all ears and I'll give you the support you need.**

**I know what I've gone through and this story is helping me deal with it.**

**That's why it means so much for me. :')**

**Ok enough of my ramblings.**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed reading it.**

**Last chapters song (sang by Emmet, Esme and Alice): _Cry little sister_ by_ Gerard McMann_**

**This chapters song: _Exit wounds_ by _The script_  
>(Brilient song!)<strong>


	20. Story of The Begining Of The End

**Disclamer: I own nothing!**

* * *

><p><em>"You'd think they just ran a marathon!" he commented. At that I had to smile, and for the first time in almost a year it was genuine.<em>

"I think they just did," Alice quipt. Edward chuckled and opened his eyes. They were so warm and a light golden colour. Not from the fact that he had hunted only minutes before, but from the happiness that made them gleam. I think my eyes reflected the same happiness because he grinned his crucked smile at me. I returned it with a smile of my own.

"Bella," he whispered. "I've got so much to tell you, but you've already heard me tell you the basics. And, oh God. Bella I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I'm so sorry. I just got so...so..." His voice trailed off, I understood. There was no words to describe how I feel about Edward.

"Heated? Fustrated? Hurt?" I offered. He looked at me with sorrow filled eyes at the word 'hurt'.

"All of them and more. But Bella there are things I still don't know. I think we need to have a heart to heart, we all need to." He looked at his family standing by the door. They waited for my move.

I draged in a deep breath. "I guess you need some better answers, right? My ranting didn't really tell you much." I feared telling them everything. I just knew everything would come out and I didn't know what the outcome would be. _Better off or worse for wear?_

They started to fill up the seats. Carlilse, Esme and Jasper with Alice sitting on his lap, were on the three seater to my right and Emmett and Rosalie took the love seat, Rose on Emmett's lap. He smiled at me, silently telling me that I had him for support.

"What do you want to know?" I was opening up, slowly, _very_ slowly.

"Everything," they said in unison. I smiled, _they really are a family._

"Where do I start?"

Edward sighed. "We have all night Bella and you stalling only takes us further into it. Start from the beginning."

"I moved to Forks so my mum-"

"-So your mum and Phill could have their space. Yes, we know that Bella." Edward was getting fustrated and Emmett was trying not to laugh. At least someone got my humor.

"Well that's my defenition of the beginning. I'm guessing you want the beginning of the end, right?" I teased him. Thing's were easier if I tryed to laugh at it.

Edward sighed, again. "Is that what you call me leaving you? If so, then yes. That's where you should begin." He sounded tired and I almost expected to see him yawn. Almost.

"Well, it really started with the-my birthday party." I wanted to stall and I was pulling at all the strings. Trying to dodge and dive.

He growled. "Just start from where I left you, ok?" he snapped.

My good mood dropped, my head and heart with it. I hated making people mad.

"Ok," I said, admitting defeat.

"Bella...I didn't mean to sna-"

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" I snapped back at him. His face dropped, becoming solemn. I understood that feeling. He nodded.

"As soon as you ran off I went after you, natually. It was even harder for me to see with the tears that just kept coming. It felt like you had punched your hand through my chest, ripped out my heart and ran with it." He visibly flinched at my choice of words. I grimaced, remembering that pain.

"I didn't know how far or for how long I had been walking for. I just knew I had to find you. Only one thing was going through my head." He looked at me expectantly.

"'He's gone, he's gone' was all that kept chanting through my mind. Soon it got dark, but I didn't take notice. I tripped and I fell and I tripped some more. Until I fell over something and I no longer had anymore strength. I couldn't get up. So I just lay there and I guess I fell asleep. I hoped and I prayed that it was just a bad dream and that I'd wake up in bed with you next to me. But I didn't. It was cold, but it wasn't the same as when I would wake up in your arms. It was wet and dark. I remember hearing voices calling but it didn't register. I knew I should call out, but I couldn't, my voice was hoarse and dry. They couldn't hear me. The next thing I remember was the bushes near me rustling. I thought it might be you, I thought you might of came back to save me. Like you always did. But it wasn't you. A boy, or more like a man, stepped out. Said his name was Sam Uley. He put his hand out for me to take but I just stared at it. Not comprehending what he wanted me to do. So he just picked me up."

I heard Edward growl lightly next to me. I turned and raised my eyebrow at him. "It's just the thought of another man holding you. I'm sorry, carry on," he muttered.

"He asked permission before he did, but I didn't answer," I explained. "So he carried me to where everyone was." I remembered that fateful night and remembered how worried Charlie was. A sob escaped my throat.

"Charlie was so scared," I sobbed. "His only daughter went missing in the woods for most of the night." My voice wavered. "He carried me home. He kept telling me that we'd be home soon, and then another 10 or so minutes would pass and he'd say it again. He said that so many times I wondered how slow he was walking. It didn't occur to me just how far I had walked."

I felt a cold hand rest on my back. I turned to my left to see Edward's pained face. Before I knew what I was doing, I flew into his arms and sat myself on his lap. Desperately needing support. His arms formed a protective cage around me.

"Dr. Gerandy looked me over and said I was fine except I was exausted. He told me to sleep and I closed my eyes. I slept on the couch and Charlie slept in his arm chair. The phone would ring every so often and he'd race to get it. Probably hoping not to wake me. Only thing was, I couldn't sleep. I had so many things rushing through my mind, I can't tell you half of what I was thinking. I know they were centred around you. My main question was why. I don't know what I wanted to know. I just wanted you back." I looked up into his eyes and saw the pain that mirrored in my own.

I held him closer to me and sniffled at his neck. Taking in his scent. Memorising it.

"I remember someone called my dad worrying about some fire that was lit on the reservation. Charlie called Billy and was told that the news about your departure had hit them. They were celebrating. I asked Charlie how he knew I was gone. He showed me a note that was warn, it was in my script and it said I'd taken a walk with you in the woods, but I'd be home soon." Looking up at Edward I felt some of the anger rise in me again.

"Did you really expect me to just walk home? Say 'ok' and walk off. Maybe cry a little and then carry on with my life? Did you think so little of me?" I shot at him. He winced.

"I'm sorry Bella. I wasn't thinking properly. I was moments away from running away from my soul mate. Do you really think I could think of much more than the fact that I was going to force myself to live without you?" He asked me softly.

"No, but it was still wrong. I realised that you must have entered my house. That meant you might have gone in my room. I became aware of the gaping hole in my chest and after apologising to my dad, I ran to my room. I searched for the scrap book Renee got me. I found it and every photo that could possibly be of you or your family was gone. Basicly all the pictures. The only proof that they were once there was where I had wrote the date and content of the photo. I searched for your CD but it was no where to be seen." Tears pricked at my eyes as I remembered how crushed I felt.

"Sad doesn't even cover how I was feeling. I didn't go to school that week and my 'friends' would call everday. I never talked to them. Eventually they stopped calling and they stopped trying to talk to me at school. I became an outcast. I just wished that was my only pain. I just wished that my only sadness was not having any friends. After a few months, Charlie had enough. He called Renee down to take me back with her, but I threw a massive tantrum. Screaming how they couldn't make me leave. I pulled, pushed and smashed things to the floors. Anything that I laid hands on was slammed to the floor. Lucky I was contained to only my room. When my strength left me I fell to the floor. I was, like how you said 'a crumpled heap'. They didn't know what to do. I'd never, even as a toddler, had a tantrum. So they allowed me to stay with my dad." I paused. And took a deep breath.

Looking around the room, seven pairs of golden eyes watched me. They all wore similar expressions. Even Rosalie. They were sad and regretful.

Finally I faced the one who had both built and destroyed me. Take all the emotions -pain, sadness, regret- from the eyes that looked at me. Put them all together and you still wouldn't hold as much darkness that was held in the eyes of my love. There is no name for the emotion that was in those eyes. Self loathing didn't even scrape at it.

I placed my hand on his cheek. Trying to ignore every foreign thought and every memory that danced in my mind. I pushed it all aside and concentrated on the face in front of me. I poured all my love and adoration into my eyes and I hoped that he could see it. He leaned into my touch.

Someone rudely cleared their throat.

"As releaving as it is to see you two giving each other goo-goo eyes...I believe Bella was telling us a story," Emmett smirked from his seat and Rosalie smacked him on the side of his head.

"Ow, what was that for Rosie?" He was was so innocent. He had no clue as to why she just did that to him. Rosalie just sighed and shook her head at her husband's thicleness.

"What was I saying?" I asked to no one in particular.

"You was explaining to us about your epic teen-age tantrum," Emmett seemed to be full of comments today. Again, Rosalie smacked him and he rubbed the side of his head dramatically, pleading to her with his eyes.

"Right. So even though Charlie agreed to let me stay he was still trying to...snap me out of it? I guess you could say. He asked if I still talked to my friends, I lied and told him that actually I was going out with Jessica to Port Angeles to see a movie. Well I did and I saw more than just a movie.

"We was walking in the direction of the car. Going to get something to eat, when I saw a few bikers outside a bar. One of them looked formiliar. I remembered from the last time I'd been to Port Angeles." I stopped and looked at Edward. He was still a little confused. So I dropped him another hint.

"From the night when you saved me from getting raped." A snarl erupted from Edward's chest and escaped his clenched teeth, that were exposed to me.

I placed a hand on his chest, where his heart was. "Hey, the past is the past, you can't change it." I told him what I had repeated to myself many times before.

He seemed to calm at my touch and he held me tighter. I didn't mind.

"Go on," he urged.

"So I thought I'd seen the man. For some strange reason I stopped and considered crossing the road to their side. They saw me and called to me. I started to cross the road, but stopped. Your voice stopped me. Told me to go back and I did, but you faded. So I took another step forward. That made you angry and so much clearer. It was like you was standing right next to me. I could almost feel your breath on my neck." And I could. He was breathing hard on to me. Obviously trying to stop his anger from showing. He was almost shacking with rage. I hurried to explain.

"I did turn around and they didn't even come close to me," I rushed to ease him.

"Jess was very upset and deamed me crazy. I didn't know if it was Deja vu or the threat that had caused me to hear your voice, but I had to find out. Unlike every reminder of you or your family, in other words. Everything. It didn't hurt. I only craved more. Even in my best dreams I couldn't hear your voice so perfect and real. It didn't hurt either." I paused, wondering if I should go on or not. It was getting late and sleep deprevation made me very tiered. But of course I hardly ever slept more than 4 hours, if I was lucky. Or unlucky depending on how bad the dreams were.

I snuggled myself to Edward's side. "Can I stop, I won't be able to sleep at all if I keep going," I whimpered into his sholder.

One of his hands stroked the birds nest that represented my hair.

"That's fine, love. Would you like me to drive you home?" he whispered into my ear. I sighed and shook my head. He wants honesty and I'm going to be as honest to him as I can.

He tilted my chin up until my eyes met his. Confusion and curriosity burned in his eyes. He had so many questions for me.

"Home's too far away," I told him simply. His head cocked to the side, giving me a new angle to admire him from.

I sighed. "Home is where the heart is. My heart isn't here. It never has and never will be." _My heart's in Forks_, I add mentally.

He nodded, understanding.

"Do you want me to drive to your house?" he tries again. And again I shake my head.

"No, I don't want to...um..." _I don't want to go. I don't want to wake up and find this was all just a dream. _A dream that would turn into a nightmere_._ But I didn't continue. I didn't want to intrude. Plus I was starting to wonder when I'd see Jake again. I haven't seen him since lunchtime and that was hours ago.

"You can stay here Bella!" Alice shouted. Overly excited as always. I turned to look at all the faces of the family I wished was my own. Jasper was obviously happy because Alice was so excited, Esme seemed pleased with the thought of having me for a bit longer. Carlisle was eager to talk to me. My short history story didn't quench his thirst to know everything about anything and everything. Emmett was as exited as Alice and I could see the protectiveness undertoning his thoughts. Rosalie was waiting for the oportunity to talk to me about something, of that I was a little scared. Rosalie never seemed to like me. And that only made me want to avoid her all the more.

Finally I turned back to Edward. To the one person who really mattered. His eyes were full of hope and he was wishing for me to stay. He wants to hold me in his arms for a bit longer.

"Okay. You're all alright with me staying for the night, right?" I knew the answer was yes, even Rosalie, but I still asked. Just to seem more normal.

"Of course," they all shouted. Making me wince, yet I smiled at Edward and inched my face closer to his. And I locked my lips to his and they danced as my mind swam. An emotion stirred inside me, making me gasp. I pulled back and gazed into the fire filled eyes in front of me.

"What was that?" I asked. Looking at Edward but really asking Jasper.

"That my dear, was utter bliss," Edward grinned. I stayed silent. Wondering. I don't think it was bliss. It was something different. Not bliss, but close.

Turning to Jasper, I cocked an eyebrow.

"I believe it's called hope and happiness," he tells me. I turned to Edward smiling. So pleased that I was able to feel happiness. But one look at his face causes my high to lower. He seems so is disappointed that I didn't feel what he did. Bliss. It's a foreign word to me now.

I craddled his face in my hands. Ignoring everything that I had no right to know.

"Edward," I breathe. He looked back at me, disappointed. "I haven't felt so...good in such a long time. Me feeling happy is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Using that analogy, my clouds are really thick and I never, ever thought the sun would break through. It's a beam of light on a stormy night." I grinned, words always seem to rhyme for me now. "It means so much to me. Please understand. It's not you-"

"It's me. I've heard that before." He nodded, I knew he was really trying to understand. But he only felt pity for me. He wanted me to be as happy as him. He felt guilty for feeling such a brilliant feeling, when I was still hurting.

I sighed. "It really is though. And don't feel pitiful of me. It will only bring me down, if you feel happy please, be happy and don't feel guilty." I hoped to lessen his pain.

He seemed dazed. "How do you know I feel like that?" his voice low.

Ah, I had let my guard down and I had let too much slip._ Just tell them already, they've stayed so far. No, if I do then they might run, say I'm crazy and never look back. I can't risk that_ I thought to myself.

Should I tell them or should I not, that is the big question. I need guidance. I need another opinion, I'm spilt, torn. I need-

"Jacob!" I leaped from Edward's lap and ran towards the 6'8" boy standing by the door. Stopping just in front of him.

"What you doing here? How'd you find me?" I was utterly amazed at seeing him in front of me.

He grinned the smile that lets me know it's really him. "I can find you anywhere, at any time. Remember? Ghosty-powers." He mocked what I had called his abilities when I found I could see him as a ghost. A ghost that only I can see. A ghost that no one except myself knows is in this room.

* * *

><p><strong>First of all I need to appologise.<strong>

**I'm so so_ soo _sorry this chapter is late.**

**Both me and my Beta caketin3336 had problems loging in of friday.**

**So I couldn't log in to send this on to her.**

**Then I sent it to her on saturday and she Beta'd it and sent it to me.**

**Only thing was, I didn't receive anything.**

**So I left it thinking maybe she was buisy. **

**And today I sent her a PM fearing something might have happened.**

**Luckily nothing bad has happend to her, she's ALIVE!**

**But she thought I got the docX when I didn't.**

**So it's my fault for not contacting her sooner.**

**I'm sorry, and thank you for your patience.**

**Shout out to my amazing Beta who without her I would still have writters block over this chapter.**

**Shout out to Catalysand, Gladiator446 and ResuscitatedHope for reviewing yet again.**

**And Georgia who is still trailing behind, as far as I know.**

**Thank you to everyone who reads this. I know I let you down this week.**

**I hope it was worth the wait :S**


	21. Explaining

**Dicsclamer: I don't own anything. Not _Twilight_ or _Evermore_ or any songs I may put up here. **

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

_"Jacob!" I leaped from Edward's lap and run towards the 6'8" boy standing by the door. Stopping just in front of him._

_"What are you doing here? How'd you find me?" I was utterly amazed at seeing him infront of me._

_He grinned the smile that lets me know it's really him. "I can find you anywhere, at any time. Remember? Ghosty-powers." He mocked what I had called his abilities when I found I could see him as a ghost. A ghost that only I can see. A ghost that no one except myself knows is in this room._

"Bella?" The velvet voice rose from behind me.

"Oh, shit," I muttered. Jacob just started laughing.

"You're not helping," I hissed at him. Turning I see all the faces that are now wondering if I've lost my mind.

"Yes?" I questioned back, trying to play innocent.

"Who are you talking to?" he asked back just as innocently.

"Um...well-"

"Just tell them. They're starting to think about sending you to a mental ward," Jacob said, one hundred percent serious.

"I'm not crazy," I told them straight off.

"Good save," Jacob mocked. I growled under my breath.

I took a deep breath. Preparing myself for the pain ahead. "When I woke up in the hospital. After the accident. I didn't remember much. I just presumed I had fallen over again. But there were tubes everywhere and I was hooked up to lots of different monitors. I judged that this wasn't something I could just say 'I'm fine' and go home," I start. The spot at my feet soon became oh, so, interesting.

I gulped. "Looking around, no one was there. No Renee crying over me. No Charlie asking me every question under the sun. No..." I sighed. Saying _'no Edward trying desperately to take the blame'_ would be a low blow that he didn't deserve. "No one was in the room. I just guessed visiting hours were up." I shrugged.

"After a while a nurse came into the room. She seemed shocked I was awake and ran back out the door. That made me worry. A Doctor I had never met before came into the room. He looked over my charts and asked me the routine questions, which I answered in my memorized lines."

My breath caught in my throat and I choked. Edward was at my side immediately, patting my back softly. His other arm wrapped securely around my waist. When I stopped coughing, he crushed me to his chest. I took comfort in his embrace.

"He told me that I was in a bad way, I knew that already. I wanted to know why I was in hospital and how soon I could leave. He told me I was in a car accident and I jumped the gun to ask him if everyone else was alright. He explained to me that I had flat-lined for about 5 minutes, I had internal bleeding, several broken bones and what they believed to be a brain hemerage. He said that it was a miracle I was alive. That I was awake and talking.

"He then asked me what I remembered and I tried really hard to think back. But nothing came. He explained to me that I wasn't alone, I tried to interrupt but he just kept talking. So I listened. I had to concentrate very hard to hear him. Hear him tell me how everyone who I still had left, the four single people I took for granted, died. To say I was devastated is a lie." I looked up at the only face in the world that could make me feel better. And saw the pain and anguish that twisted his face in such a way that should never have to be felt.

"I didn't feel anything. I thought the pain of loosing the last people on earth who I loved. To be left all on my own. I thought it would combine with the pain of the departure of my first family. The one that I thought I could assure myself I would never loose. I knew that if those pains mixed together, it would be too much. It would send me over the edge. But they didn't. I didn't feel anything. I was numb and how I welcomed it." Tears slid down my face and were soaked up by Edward's shirt. He held me tighter.

I turned my head to my right and saw Jacob standing next to me at arms length. His face was solemn but he flashed me a smile of encouragement. I returned a smile, just as quickly letting it drop.

"Jacob visited me that night." I giggled, remembering how he convinced me he couldn't talk. "He scared me at first, I thought I'd lost my mind. But he comforted me, like he always did. He made all these different gestures. Some were quite funny. I asked him what he was and he made wings at his sides. His hands were at his shoulders pointing outward and flapping about. I thought he was saying he was an Angel. But he shook his head. It went on like that until he put his hands together, at the side of his face, tilting his head and closing his eyes. Obviously telling me to sleep." I stopped and Jacob filled the silence.

"How did you think this," he flapped his hands at his shoulders again, like he did that first night, "meant I was an Angel?" he mocked.

"Well, what else was that supposed to mean?" I retorted. "You looked like an Angel to me," I grumbled. His boisterous laughter filled my ears.

The Cullen's had only seen my side of the exchange and Edward tensed at my words. I thought back to what I had said. _'You looked like an Angel to me._' Oh, he thought I meant that in a different way. It was confusing but he seemed to think I meant that comment as a compliment, when I was only trying to defend my case.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant it as a come back, not a compliment." I pulled back slightly to look him in the face. "Jacob was teasing me and what you heard was my retort. I didn't mean it as a compliment. I was complaining," I tried to explain.

"Ow Bells, that hurt," Jacob moaned from beside me. My shoulders slumped.

"How come I'm the one stuck in the middle?" I whispered under my breath, forgetting everyone could hear me.

"Jacob," I drew out his name. "You know I didn't mean that in a nasty way. You're still my guardian angel. Just Edward...well you know. And I had to comfort him. They can't see or hear you remember?" I say it in a way that suggests he's mentally challenged.

"Yes I do and I also know that you're not helping your fight for sanity with the Cullen's," he chuckled.

I gulped. "Look I'm just going to tell you," I said, pulling out of Edward's arms so I can look at everyone.

"I can see ghosts but only those of the people who haven't crossed the bridge." They looked confused. "That's another story." Pausing I thought of what else to tell them. In what order? "When a person's skin touches my own I see their life story. I see their past. Every memory, every thought, everything."

"That's why you freaked out when you touched us," Emmett boomed. Jacob laughed. I smiled.

"Do you even realise how wrong that sounds?" I didn't let him answer. "Yes, that's why I don't allow people to touch me. I can also read minds," Edward seemed stunned at this prospect.

_Can she? Can you actually hear me?_ His mental voice shouted above all.

I winced. "Yeah, can you tone it down a little? No need to shout," I joke. "I see people's auras as well. Which you all have." At this they seemed both pleased and shocked. I didn't continue and they realised that I was finished.

"So let me get this straight," Emmett claimed. "You can see ghosts, get people's life stories, read minds and see auras?" His voice got more and more impressed with every 'talent' that he repeated.

I nodded.

"Prove it," he stated.

"Um, ok. What do you want me to prove first?" I was excited at the challenge.

"Er...you touched me right?"

I nodded.

"So that means you got my life story, if what you said is real." He was testing me.

Again I nodded.

"Tell me something of my past that could prove it." He was thinking of things that he didn't think I knew. Giving away things he didn't think I could know of.

I smiled. "Ok. I know for a fact that the Christmas of 1983 you hunted out all your presents and opened them in secret. Edward almost caught you and you was so scared you chucked all the presents out the window and hid in your closet. You ended up paying for a new window and the rack of clothing you had ripped when you got caught up in them. Rosalie banned you from sex for a week but she caved after you begged her for two days straight and wouldn't leave her alone. Dare I go on?" I teased.

"Ok, ok. I think that proves the life stories."

"Shall I prove to you that Jacob is here in this room with you?" I asked. This was going to be the funniest to prove and I was eager to show them.

"Go ahead," Alice waved her hand in a swooping motion. I grinned.

"Right, Jacob is actually standing next to me. But you can't see, hear, smell or feel him. You can't sense his presence at all, even with your heightened senses," I explained. They nodded.

"But you could see if he caused the lights to flicker." Jacob stood in the hallway flipping the light switch on and off rapidly. Spooking the vampires in the room. Their eyes glued to the light switch as it moved up and down seemingly on it's own. Their eyes shot back to me.

"You would hear it if he played the piano." As the words left my mouth the keys on the grand piano, that was left to the side of the room, started to play. Chop-sticks started playing. I giggled. That was the only thing he knew on the piano.

Edward seemed very uncomfortable with the idea of a ghost playing his piano, even though he hadn't touched it since he left.

"You would feel it if he pushed you over." And like that Alice fell off Jasper's lap and onto the floor. She quickly picked herself up.

"Didn't see that coming," she grumbled. And sat back on Jasper, he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her to him.

"That's quite enough," Carlisle ended the fun.

"So you believe me?" I asked them.

"Yes." Edward stepped closer to me.

"And you won't send me to a mental ward?" At this point I was playing with them, but also used this as an excuse to prove my mind reading ability.

"I would never do that." He pulled me to his chest, but I kept my eyes locked on his.

"You was thinking of doing that. When I ran to Jacob and started to talk to him. Carlisle was going through a list of the best hospitals around. And you-" I poked him with my index finger, playfully. "Was reading through them, and you thought I'd lost my mind and that you'd do anything to help me. _'I will make sure that she gets the best treatment possible.'_ You was scared you was going to loose me again." I held my hands on both sides of his neck.

He was amazed at my power to read his mind. While my mind was still silent to him.

"I'm on the same frequency as you," I smiled, remembering when he told me his theory for my mental silence, that I was on a different frequency to him.

He smiled back. Just as happy as I was that we were closer. Yet still so different.

"Where is he now?" Emmett hollered from his seat. Unnerved by the thought of a ghost. I looked around and found Jacob standing behind Emmett. He lifted his index finger to his lips, telling me to stay quiet. I grinned. He blew a gush of wind down Emmett's neck and Emmett feeling the air rush down his shirt, jumped out of the chair and spun around, causing Rosalie to stumble, as he threw her off his lap. Jacob was rolling on the floor, laughing like a mad man.

My lips twitched as I tried desperately to contain my laughter. It would only give me away if I laughed.

"What is it? What was that?" Emmett shouted.

I let a giggle out and then I was laughing my heart out. One hand outstretched to stop myself from falling on the floor. The other around my stomach, Edward's arm wrapped around my own.

"Jacob," I gasped between roars of laughter. Seeing big Emmett jump out of his skin was just so funny.

After a while I recovered my breathing and I could stand up straight, with the help of Edward's arms.

"Soo...what happened just then?" Jasper asked very curious.

I smiled, still amused by what just occurred.

"Jacob was standing behind Emmett, he blew onto the back of Emmett's neck. And well, you saw how Emmett reacted," I giggled.

A few chuckles and snickers were heard all around, mainly aimed at Emmett.

"Is he still with us?" Carlisle's voice was laced with concern.

"He makes it sound like a serenade," Jacob moaned.

I smiled. "Yes he is. He's right over there, by the piano." I pointed out. They all turned to look but, of course, nobody saw him.

"It sucks being invisible," he commented.

"I'd imagine it does," I responded. The Cullen's eyes all snapped to me. "It sucks being the messenger too," I added. They were still waiting for me to fill them in.

"Jake was grumbling how it sucks to be invisible. And, well, you heard my response," I breathed.

A few minutes of silence passed and I just basked in Edward's hold. I had my arms locked tightly around his back and he had his around my waist. Gently rubbing his hands up and down my back.

"You do still need to sleep don't you, love?" he whispered in my ear. His icy breath tickling me. Causing the electric current to flair.

"Yeah," I muttered.

"And you still need to eat?"

"That I do." I could already tell where this was going, but I let him have his fun.

"Well, would care to join me for dinner?" His choice of words had me giggling.

"You really have to be careful of what you say, you don't realise how bad that sounded to me." I tell him, smiling.

"No, you just have a twisted sense of humor," Emmett stepped in. Wanting to get back at me for Jacob's little stunt.

"Guess I've spent to much time around Jake." I shrugged.

Edward was yet again distressed at this but I tugged on his arm and he snapped out of it. Leading me to the kitchen.

"You can have anything you want. We can order in if you don't want to cook," he offered.

I smiled. "Do you mind if I have a look?" I didn't want act as if I owned the place, I didn't.

"Of course not, you already know all this food is for you. This is your kitchen for all reasons and purposes." He nudged me forward.

"Ok, I'm not all that hungry anyway." And I opened up a cupboard. It was full to the extent tins were almost falling out of it. That could only mean one of a few things. I sent Edward a warning look and he gave me a nervous smile in return.

I opened up all the cupboards and the fridge and discovered that my theory was correct. They had stocked their cupboards for me and the fridge was overflowing with food and drink.

"Why is there so much food? Most of it will go to waste." I had my back turned to him, glaring at the food in the fridge.

"Esme didn't know what you liked, so she thought-"

"She'd buy the whole shop," I finished sarcastically.

"Bella I'm sorry if this was too much, but I wasn't sure what to get. So I got what I thought what might look good to you. I'm sorry if I got it wrong," Esme's voice was so full of concern and grief that it made me feel horrible for teasing them.

"No, no. It's fine, truly it is. Just you've spoilt me. I'm used to fending for myself, I had to cut a lot of treats, so I'm not used to this. I just know how much they can cost and to see this much food makes me wonder how much you paid for just me." I had stepped closer to her and, ensuring I didn't touch her skin, I hugged her. "Thank you. For everything."

"My dear, you are more than welcome. We just want to look after you." She pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled back.

* * *

><p><strong>Massive thank you to my Beta Caketin3336, who without her this wouldn't be up and it would be too riddled with spelling errors to be worth reading. And for Beta'ring this so quickly. I swear it took you all of 5 minutes!<strong>

**You should really read her fics. _Uncertainty _and it's sequel _Difficult choices_.**

**They're over wordly. And Bella's a vampire! Along with the rest of the Cullens.**

**A big thank you to Gladiator446 and catalysand.**

**Thank you Gladiator446 and Catin3336 for putting up with me and my ranting and personal troubles. It does help.**

**Thank you to Georgia for staying with me for the past few years. Even when I'm in my bad moods.**

**Thanks to everyone who reads this fic.**

**And sorry this night is dragging on so long. But Bella and Edward keep insisting on more!**

**If it wasn't for Caketin3336 I wouldn't have been able to write these chapters.**

**Now I have to return to my homework. Ergh.**


	22. Running in circles

**Disclamer: If I owned _Twiligt_ or _Evermore_ or any of the songs I may put on here, I would be in Spain right now. Or America...Anyway, I'm in crummy little england. (It doesn't deserve a capital letter) So of course, I own nothing, nult, nada.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

_"My dear, you are more than welcome. We just want to look after you." She pulled me back and smiled at me, I smiled back._

"That's going to take some getting used to," I replied.

"You'll just have to live with it then," Edward smirked from behind me.

I nodded, not really knowing what to say.

"What do you want to have?" He gestured to the open cupboards. Internally I grinned, on the outside I smiled.

_Gosh, I need to clean my head._

"Many things. But I'll just get this." I jumped up and snagged the galaxy bar that was on the top shelf in the fridge. Bumping it shut with my hip, I turned to close the cupboard doors. But they were already shut.

Edward stood in front of me, smiling down at me. Obviously pleased with himself. He looked at the chocolate and raised an eyebrow.

_She really wants to eat that?_ He asked himself.

I smiled at him. "You wouldn't believe how long I've gone without this stuff." I waved it in front of him. His face gave a disgusted look at the offending object being rubbed in his face, almost literally.

"That doesn't look like an adequate dinner," he commented, reaching for the chocolate bar. But I tucked it behind my back.

"I don't care, I could do with some chocolate," I grinned at him, seeing the idea playing in his mind.

He reached behind my back but I spun around and ducked under his arm. I ran to the other side of the room. He looked at me, stunned.

Soon recovering he flitted to my side. His hand was outstretched. I shook my head and made a dash around the kitchen island.

I started to giggle and soon I was laughing as I tried to out-run a vampire, but not just any vampire, my vampire. He ran around the island and stopped at the other side of island. Blocking me off. He laughed, arms and legs spread out, making a stance.

I grinned at him, already knowing his next move. I swayed to the left and he started to run, at human pace, to his right. I ran in the other direction and he followed.

After running around the island several times, stopping in between, I ran out the room and jumped onto the sofa. I tried to catch my breath between laughter. Soon Edward sat beside me, breathing heavily as well. It was just an act but I was grateful of his thoughtfulness. It would kill the mood if he was just fine.

I clutched the chocolate to my chest and he just looked at it.

"You didn't fall," his voice is amazed and slightly saddened at the same time.

I faced him. Shaking my head, "Ever since I woke up in hospital I've been different," I confessed.

"We'll just have to find out _what_ another time," he moved closer to me and leaned his head towards to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and our lips met. Molding together perfectly.

We pulled away after I stopped breathing. His crooked grin greeted my sight. Then the golden and brown bar was waved in front of my face. I gasped. He had got it. Narrowing my eyes at him I tried to snatch it from him. But he moved it out of my reach. Holding it above his head.

"So childish," I sighed.

"Me? Childish? Never," he said, playfully making his voice disbelieving. My smile widened into an evil grin as a thought occurred to me.

I climbed up his chest, grabbing his arm and pushing my body to his. Using his shoulders to keep me steady I straddled his lap and moved my left hand to grab the chocolate bar. Edward was frozen beneath me, not even breathing, as he got an eye full of my covered up curves. I slipped the bar from his clutched and fell back onto the pillows. Giving Edward some space to recover.

"You little minx!" he shook himself free. I just lifted my head to look at him. I sat up. "All that over a chocolate bar, really?" he joked.

"Yep, it's worth it and fun too," I chirped, sliding my nail a long the dip between the slips of chocolate. Snapping off a bit and letting it melt in my mouth.

"Mmm," I moaned. "That's so good." Taking another chunk of the sweet heaven and closing my eyes. Savoring the moment.

"Really now? Is that necessary?" Edward teased. Opening my eyes I didn't realise just how close to me he was. His eyes were just inches away from mine, and they were smoldering.

I didn't move, only breathed into his face. Breathing in his scent as he leaned over me. The chocolate sat on my lap, forgotten.

We stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time.

A huge yawn posed me before I could stop it and Edward laughed.

"Trying to scare me off, now are you?" came his smart-mouthed comment.

"No I was just wondering if you think I should go to the dentist," was my sarcastic response. He sighed shaking his head but a smile played at his lips.

"Come on, love. Let's get you to bed." He pulled me into his arms and stood up. Before we moved anywhere I twisted in his arms to reach for the bar of sweet heaven, that had fallen to the couch. Edward just shook his head at me. And I poked my tongue out at him.

"I feel like a child," I complained from the cradle of his arms.

"That's because you are one," he told me with a grin on his face.

"Nice, so what does that make you?" My question made him freeze and he looked down at me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out. Sleep deprivation has taken it's toll on me, ya know?" I urged.

He nodded. "Here we are." He set me down. The room was obviously a guests room, but I didn't know why. The double bed sat in the middle of the room. The headboard on the right hand side. The covers were a light blue, varying in shades and fabrics. The walls were white and the curtains to the small window at the far wall were a dark blue.

It gave off an inviting charm but still seemed empty. This just added to the words that the Cullen's had spoken to me. Their lives were empty when they moved away.

"I would invite you to my room but there isn't much to it, I'm afraid." I had unconsciously moved into the room and Edward now stood leaning against the door frame.

"This is fine," I told him. "What's wrong with your room? If you don't mind me asking?" I added.

"Just...there isn't much to it. Let's leave it at that, for now." I nodded. Already knowing why he didn't want me to venture to his room.

"Um...I haven't got anything to sleep in..." Just as the words left my mouth Alice pushed past Edward and handed me some clothing. Unfolding them I held a pair of boys shorts and a top that would be too baggy to be for a woman.

"Who's are they?" I faced her.

"Edward's" She shrugged. I looked over her shoulder to look at him and he seemed to be staring at Alice intently.

"I can sleep in the clothes I've got, I don't have to use anyone's clothes."

"Oh, hush now Bella. Edward won't mind, besides if you give me your clothes I can get them washed so you can get some fresh clothes at your house," Alice explained.

"Are you sure?" I locked my gaze with Edward, he smiled and nodded.

"Of course, Alice never lets us wear the same thing twice. I'm surprised they're still here," he shrugged.

"Alright then, I guess." Looking around the room I tried to locate the nearest bathroom. "Where can I get changed?" I blushed.

"Right through there." Alice pointed to the door at the other side of the room.

"Thanks," I mumbled before walking over to the door. The bathroom was a lot bigger then the one I had. The corner shower was big enough to fit two people comfortably. The toilet and sink were spaced nicely apart. Unlike at my house where everything was cramped.

I took a shorter shower than I usually did, but still letting the hot water relax my tense muscles before reluctantly stepping out of the steam. I toweled my hair and slipped into Edward's clothes. The shirt was more like a dress and stopped an inch above my knees. And I had to pull the cord on the shorts until it stopped and tied a knot in them.

_I guess I've lost a bit of weight._

I wasn't expecting anyone to be in the room. So when I saw Edward waiting on the bed for me, I stopped and stared.

"Hi," he said, timidly.

"Hey,"I replied, feeling just as shy.

"Bella, I was wondering if, I could, talk to you." It sounded more like a question than a thought.

"Of course," I moved to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. "What do you want to talk about?"

He turned his body to face me. "I want to say that I'm so sorry for leaving you, that was the biggest mistake of my entire existence, it was the worst mistake on the face of the earth. But you need to understand Bella, I did it because I thought it was what was best for you. Ever since I met you, you seemed to be getting in more life threatening positions. The only solution I could come up with was to take myself out the picture, out of your life.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I can never apologize enough. Not only did I hurt myself, break myself, but I hurt you too. My absence did more harm than anything else could have done. It just felt to me that everything that could go wrong did, or was waiting to. Like an axe hanging over our heads, dangling by a piece of string. I was petrified I wouldn't get the sixty, seventy odd years I had promised myself with you. I wanted you to lead a happy, human life and I failed. I failed so miserably. I'm so sorry, please can you ever forgive me?" His eyes along with his voice were so tortured.

I knew all these things. I knew them because I had seen it. Yet I let him repeat it to me. And I listened. He had comforted and listened to me, not an hour before, and now it was my turn to comfort him. He needed to be supported now, and that's just what I planned on doing.

"Edward," I brushed the hair that had fallen into his eyes, "I know, and I forgive you. That doesn't make what you did right, nor does it stop the hurt. But I know you meant well and I know you love me. That's all that matters to me. I forgive you." My hand had traveled from his forehead to behind his ear and I traced my fingers behind it.

His eyes closed and his face became more peaceful. I realised that he was enjoying my touch. So I started to scratch at the area just behind his ear. He started to hum and I applied more pressure. An odd sound started to rumble from his chest. Not as loud, nor as deep as a growl, more like a purr. Edward was purring. Grinning I stopped. His eyes opened to see why I halted my actions.

"Did you just _purr_?" I asked incredulously.

"That I did. Had it not occurred to you that a vampire is very much like a feline? With the growling and hissing, not to forget the speed and agility. But I'll admit even I didn't know we could do that."

"We can't Eddie, you're just a pansy!" Came Emmett's voice, along with his booming laughter. Edward growled.

Not wanting to miss another minute with Edward, I resumed scratching behind his ear, this time more forceful and faster. His eyes dropped shut and his entire body relaxed. He started to purr again and he pushed his head into my palm. After a few minutes I couldn't contain my giggles and I pulled away, much to Edward's dismay.

"That was hardly fair," he accused.

"I'm sorry, you was just so damn cute!" I giggled again. Laying back on the bed. I continued my giggling fit. Edward's face hovered above my own and his arms next to both of my shoulders, as half his body hovered over my own.

"Cute, was I?" He growled.

_Oh no, not this again._

I giggled, playing along. "Yes, as cute as a kitten." A mischievous glint glowed in his eyes, as does a playfully evil smile. His arms moved incredibly fast and before I could even flinch, they were at my sides, just below my rib cage. Then he started to wiggle his fingers and all to soon he's tickling me without abandon.

I couldn't stop the richious laughter that escaped my lips. "Edward," I gasped. "Stop! Oh god! Edward stop! Please!" But he didn't let up.

"Say it, Bella!" he demanded, but I could hear his amusement.

"Ah!" I squealed. "What, what?" I shouted between wiggling and laughing.

"Say it, say 'you're not cute Edward, I'm wrong, you're right.' Say it, out loud. Say it!" His voice grew with every word. I stilled for a moment, holding my breath.

"Never," I gushed into his face. He seemed momentarily stunned and I tried to break free but his grasp was iron strong and unmoving.

"Oh you little..." he growled at me and grabbed one of my feet. And to my utter horror started to tickle my sensitive flesh. I laughed to the point it was painful and I thrashed about. Trying to get free. But Edward leaned on my other leg, so it wouldn't kick him in the face. Doing more damage to me than him. I riffed and after a few seconds was begging to him.

"Ah! Ok! Ok! I surrender, stop please stop!" I begged. Still he didn't relent.

"Say it," he paused, allowing me to get some much needed oxygen.

"Fine, fine," I panted. "You're not cute Edward, you're incredibly sexy." I lifted my face to see his shocked one. Obviously not expecting my words.

I slipped from his hold and kneeled on the floor beside him. I decided on my revenge. I jumped onto the bed and grabbed a pillow. Holding it by the corners I flipped it over my right shoulder. Edward watched me curiously from the floor. I swung my arms forward as fast as I could, the pillow along with it. It hit Edward straight in the face. Pulling it away revealing Edward's jaw-dropped expression.

"Did you just hit me? With a pillow?" he was outrightously mesmerized.

I grinned. "What would give you such an idea?" I replied sarcastically.

I pulled the pillow back and while he still had his mouth open I swung it at him. Hitting him on the top of his head. That seemed to snap out of his trance, as he leapt up and grabbed the other pillow. And in one swift movement hit me round the face with a pillow. I had to admit I was shocked. Even though he didn't hit me as hard as I knew he could, it still stung a little. Just a little.

Recovering I saw his smug grin, he was very pleased with himself. He thought he won, he thought it was over. Oh boy was he wrong. The war had only just begun.

I tried to hit him with the pillow again but it slipped out of my fingers. Ever the clumsy Bella. I watched, static, as the pillow flew across the room and hurdled towards the unsuspecting audience that had formed at our door. I watched as Alice ducked and the pillow skimmed her head. Catching Emmett in the stomach. A small 'umph' could be heard from him.

"Emmett, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit you. It slipped out my fin-" I was cut off as I saw the pillow returned to me, no, not _to_ me. _At_ me. I drooped to my stomach. Letting the pillow fly over my head.

"Damn, you can throw hard girl!" Emmett exclaimed. Standing back up I saw Emmett's cheeky smile, letting me know all was okay. I smiled back.

"Pillow fight!" Alice yelled at the top of her lungs. I wanted to cover my ears from the sound but instead I dived for the pillow that I had previously claimed.

Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice charged into the room. I'm positive that the shrieks and roars of laughter could be heard from miles away.

_Good thing we are._

I didn't have to move very far, just as I was trying to round the corner of the bed, a pillow hit the back of my head. Key word there, trying. In true Bella fashion I tripped, stumbled and fell on the floor. But I laughed it off.

That didn't even hurt.

I turned around to see Alice standing there with her little 'angel' smile. Yeah right, I was not buying that. I smiled back before allowing my pillow to connect with her face and ran away.

Jasper stood in my tracks, we started to have a mini war of our own before Emmett joined Jasper and Edward made it three on one. Until Alice rescued me from my corner. And it was boys Vs girls. The ultimate show down.

We all went of our own mates, knowing we had more of a chance winning if we played the _'You wouldn't hurt little me' _card. I cornered Edward between the cupboard and the wall. I could feel the success. Deciding to hit him somewhere else than his glorious face, not wanting to damage it, even though I couldn't. My pillow connected with his stomach. He caught my pillow and ripped it from my hands. He repetitively attacked me with my own pillow.

I tried ducking around him, but he would just move in the direction I was headed. I couldn't stop laughing for the life of me.

I saw him halter in one of his swings and made a move to grab the pillow, mid flight. Once I felt the fabric in my hands I held on tight and while it still was aimed at me, yanked it out of his grasp. He was impressed, or shocked. Which ever, you choose.

After the ten odd hits I got, I was starting to play dirty. I was going to get him bellow the belt. Literally. Edward stood unprepared and unprotected.

He couldn't stop the pillow in time. A low grunt fell from his lips and he curled to the ground. I heard a sudden intake of breath and watched as Jasper hunched over. Everyone stood there motionless. All eye's turned to me. Those except for Jasper and Edward.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"What did you do Bella?" Emmett sounded very amused.

"Well, I hit him bellow the belt," I grinned.

"Oh, come on, it couldn't have hurt that much," he whined.

"You want to find out Emmett?" Alice threatened.

"No thanks. I like my balls the size they are." He covered himself.

Turning to Edward, I questioned. "I thought you said you was a vampire." I looked down at him. He glared up at me. I smiled. _I win!_ I could hear all the other Cullen's laughing with me, except for Jasper.

I stretched my palm to him and helped him up. "That was very..._cruel_ of you to do such an indecent thing," he whimpered, not fully recovered.

"I'm sorry, little baby, I didn't mean to hurt you." I said in a taunting voice. He growled. "Aw come on, I really didn't think it would hurt you...That much," I confessed.

He pinned me, with my back up against the wall. Whispering in my ear. "I guess you'll just have to make it up to me." I shivered. And not from his cold form.

After he pulled his face back , my hands sought out his hair and forced his lips to mine. We were a perfect match as he pushed me, flush between him and the wall. I moaned. God I missed this. My noise must have startled him or alerted him as he pulled away. Too soon for my liking.

He chuckled as I pouted at him. "Lets get you to bed my love." And he dragged me over to the bed and settled me down. He even tucked me in!

His lips lingered on my forehead for a moment and I felt a pang in my chest, remembering the last time he did that.

_Should I stay or should I go? Would it be rude of me to ask her. Oh yeah, because it's just the right thing to ask after you have only just got her back. 'Do you mind if I watch you while you sleep?' No, not stalker-ish at all. I should just leave her be. Maybe she'll-_

"You can stay if you like," I told him as he paused at the door. His thoughts had whizzed through my mind. Only lasting all of three seconds, so much faster than any human could possibly think. And those were only the thoughts at the forefront of his mind.

"I'd like that very much." And he laid on top of the sheets, pulling me close to him. I snuggled into his chest.

* * *

><p><strong>Shout out to my Beta caketin3336 for Beta'ring my story. And the funny autocorrect that desided 'Foregead' was 'Forhand'. Hahaha. Stupid technology.<strong>

**Although nobody reviewed this week I'd still like to thank _Gladiator446_ for her personal support. I'd be scared to talk to _them_ about _it,_ if it wasn't for you. Now I'm not so scared. So thanks.**

**And thank you to Georgia who will be joining the Fandom world soon, so we can share our crazy worlds to the people of Fandom. I know there are people out there who are crazier than her over _Twilight _out there.**

**I know because I saw them running after _Pattinson_ on youtube. (did I spell his name right? hmm)**

**Anyway, thank you to the people who read my story and who have added it to their favourits and alerts. Hell they even added _me_! Thank you.**

**Oh yeah, sorry this night is dragging on so much, I promise another chapter or half a chapter and then they move on. Just the nights are long and the Cullen's don't sleep. As stated by Edward.**


	23. Lyric lessons

**A/N: words in italics and single quotation marks **_'Like this' _**are thoughts of others, that Bella hears. Words in italics with no quotation marks **_like this_** are Bella's thoughts. I hope that clears up any confusion. I will specify what the italics and bolds and any other thingys are at the beging of each chapter. If it means anything different. But thoughts and Bella's I plan on keeping the same. With that in mind...**

**Disclamer: I do not own _Twilight_ or _Evermore _or any songs put on here. I only own the three songs I've wrote. (That may apear on here) and the lyric book they are in. Along with the pen I write them down on.**

**Any way. On with the reading.**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

**I looked around the darkness in panic. The rain soaking my clothes, making them cling to me. I had been in these woods before. I visited them every night. But that did nothing to quell my fear. I knew that I could never match his speed, but still I ran. I ran and I screamed. I screamed his name, hoping I'd get a reply.**

**"Edward! Edward, please!" I begged over and over again, as I climed over fallen trees and pushed away every branch that tried to grab my arms and hold me back.**

**I saw a break of light ahead and I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. They felt like lead, but eventually I made it to the light.**

**I knew what waited for me, I knew what I would see before I broke through the thick bush. Yet still I fell to my knees and let out a piercing scream as my eyes rested on the sight in front of me.**

**A crumpled and twisted piece of metal sat there. Smoke floating away from its front, that was embracing a tree trunk. Looking at the car, I knew there was no people inside. Because they were walking down the road. I saw them, all of them. Charlie, Renee, Phil and Jacob. They all waved at me, just before they disappeared. The gut wrenching pain made me topple over. I clutched at anything. Shouting at them over and over again to come back. I pleaded, I prayed, I wished, I confessed every sin, I tried to bargain with them. But they never showed up again.**

**I was left there, in the middle of the road, crying and screaming. Broken and bleeding. I let loose another scream. This one showing all my heart break. This one waking me from my sleep.**

I sat bolt upright in the bed. Immediatly pulling my knees to my chest. Resting my head between them. I shook with the force of my sobs. So I held on tighter. I heard a shrilling noise that was making my ears ring. Startled, I realised it was my own anguished cry.

I felt two strong arms wrap around me and I let go of my legs. Holding whoever it was, with a crushing force. I held onto them for dear life, as the pain rippled through me.

Waves and waves of torment washed over me, for what felt like hours. Before finally I was able to stifle my screams to whimpers and shut off the waterfall that was cascading down my face to a small trickle.

That's when it registered that someone was holding me. That's when I heard the soft murmurs that where being whispered into my ear.

"Shh, Bella, shh. I'm here. I got you. You're safe. I'm here," he repeated. I clung tighter to him. He was here. He was holding me. It wasn't a dream. That or I had gone delusional.

"Ed-Edward?" I croaked, my throat feeling as dry as sandpaper.

"Shh, Love. I'm here. Don't worry," he whispered. I pulled back from the crook of his neck, to look him in the eye. He really is here. He didn't leave.

My fingers traced his face. "It really is you," I murmured. He looked at me oddly, but nodded with reverence.

I flew into his arms again. Holding him tighter still. I felt his breath in my hair, before it was replaced with his lips.

After a few blissful minutes he pulled back.

"Bella, are you ok? What happened?" The words shot from his mouth and I had to think through the haze to understand them.

I shook my head. "It was just a nightmare. I told you. I wake up screaming." I tilted my head, trying to get him to understand.

"It's not right Bella. You got two hours of restless sleep. That's not even half as much as you need."

I shrugged. "I've gotten used to it."

"Edward's right Bella. It's not natural to wake up in such a state. Let alone the small amount of time you slept," Carlisle urged from the bed side.

Looking around the room, I found that everyone was in the room. All wearing masks of worry. But none as petrified as Edward's. I blushed, everyone's eyes resting on me as I sat on Edward's lap, in a not so innocent position.

I moved to climb off his lap but his arms encircled my waist and he turned me so my back was again his chest. That way I could see everyone. See everyone watch me squirm.

I sighed dejectedly. "I know." I mumbled.

"Do you get these dreams often?" Carlisle asked. My eyes resting on his.

"Every night."

"Is it the same dream?" He was hovering over me and holding my wrist, measuring my pulse.

Great, now I'm getting examined.

"Always," I replied shortly. I was starting to get annoyed at their poking and prodding. He nodded. I watched him as he looked over my head, at Edward.

_'I'll get some tests run,'_ he thought to his eldest son. At that point I had enough. I ripped myself away from Edward and him not expecting my sudden movement, couldn't hold me down. I jumped up and off the bed. Pressing myself against the far wall.

"I'm not some sick experiment!" I spat. "I'm a human being. You can't go poking and prodding at me. You won't like what you find. Not one bit. So why bother trying?" I yelled at them. They were all unsuspecting to my outburst. But Edward was gob-smacked. He looked like someone had punched him in the gut.

"Bella, we only want to help you." The words tumbled from Edward's mouth.

"I understand that, and I appreciate it. But don't go pushing me. I don't want to do any test! I hated hospitals then, before all of this, so how do you think I feel about them now?" I retorted.

He hung his head. "I'm sorry. I just want you to get better. You have no idea how it ripped me apart to see you so worked up. To hear you scream like that. And know, I'm most likely the reasoning behind your tears." He looked up and released his agony into his golden orbs. I could see he was close to falling apart too. He was on the same ledge as me.

So I walked over and onto the bed, climbing over to him. Holding him to me. His head resting on my chest, as I rocked us back and forth. I could feel his pain rippling off of him. He clung to me as I had to him, only minutes before. And just as he had, I reassured him and inhaled his scent.

"Edward it's ok. I'll get better, I promise you I will. You're here now, that's all that matters. Please? I'm ok, it's ok," I repeated to him again and again.

His family had evacuated from the room and left me to comfort the broken man in my arms. He let out a strangled sob and moved himself impossibly closer to me. Never removing his head from above my heart.

After an immeasurable amount of time, that could have been minutes or hours, his sobs stopped and he was no longer a quaking mess in my arms. But a very affectionate vampire. His lips left small kisses on the skin surrounding my heart and traveled upward, along my neck, until our lips met.

This kiss was unlike any before it. It wasn't angry or passionate but a combination of pain, comfort and healing. It held hope. It made my stomach flip with happiness, as we held onto each other. We couldn't get close enough and soon we were both on our knees. Hands roaming and grabbing. Holding and caressing. Both trying to pick up the pieces of ourselves. Trying to hold each other together. Our shattered remains.

My head started to get dizzy and my vision blurred. Edward must have felt me sway, because he pulled away. But still stayed wrapped in our arms. In our little bubble.

He broke the silence first. "Try to get some more sleep, love." He started to lay me onto my back, but I refused to let go of him and he ended up leaning back with me. He hovered over me. I slipped one of my hands from his torso to his cheek and cupped his jaw. Its angled perfection I always loved.

"I never get back to sleep after I wake up. The dreams just come back and haunt me again," I explained. Tracing his jaw with my finger tips.

He sighed. "Try, for me?" he pleaded.

I just shook me head. "There's no chance, and I can only take so much of that in a night. Once is too much, please don't ask me to witness it again." This time I looked him in the eye and saw just how much my sleep, or lack of it, had effected him. He was so scared and worried, that it hurt him.

He searched my eyes and after finding what he was looking for, began to sit up.

"Do you want to get ready then?" he gestured toward the bathroom.

I bit my lip, not wanting to take off his clothes, just yet. "Could I stay in these for a bit longer?" I requested.

He brightened at my words, he obviously liked that I wanted to stay close to him still. "Of course." '_Maybe Alice will let me keep the shirt, hopefully her scent would have replaced my own_' he mused. "Shall we go down stairs?"

"Ok." And I took his outstretched arm, looping my right into his left. He grinned down at me. Thinking about how this was how men in his era walked with a woman. A gentleman.

We walked down the stairs into the empty living room. The silence was almost eery, _I'm in a house full of vampires and I can't hear any one of them._

Edward watched my searching of his family before answering my unspoken question. "They all retired to their rooms," he cleared.

"Oh, we wont disturb them will we?" He just chuckled at me.

"No, don't worry. We wont disturb them."_ 'But they may disturb us_,' he added mentally. I cringed.

"What would you like to do?" he turned to me.

"Would you play for me?" I waved my hand towards his baby grand. "It's only that you've heard me play and sing. Would you sing for me?"

I was hesitant. I knew it was nerve racking for me to preform, so I understood that even the perfect Edward Cullen could get stage fright.

"Please?" I gave him the best puppy-dog eyes I could muster. Staring up at him through my lashes.

His shoulders dropped as he gave in. "Ok, what do you want to hear?" He started to walk us over to the piano.

"Um...do you have any pieces with lyrics?" I asked.

He paused to this for a few seconds. "No, but I'd like to. Maybe you could help me write some lyrics? You are very good at them," he stated.

"Well, I could try to explain to you, how I write lyrics..." I started. He nodded, signaling me to carry on. "Um...well I just find a topic, feeling, event, something I feel strongly about. Then I find two words that rhyme or describe how I feel. Then find a sentence that would get them to make sense," I confessed.

Edward took in every bit of information and had a very concentrated look on his face, it was adorable.

_'A strong topic to think about...Something I feel strongly about...Bella_.' His thoughts were so sweet, I couldn't help but smile at him, trying to blink my tears away.

He seemed slightly puzzled at my sudden change in emotions. '_Ah, I forgot you could hear my mind,'_ he mentally apologised.

"I try to tune it out, but I'm sort of new to this." He nodded in understanding. "So, you want to write a song?" I confirmed. He grinned his consent.

And that's how we spent the early morning hours together.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so sorry for this chapter being late. It's compleately my fault. I didn't actually finish this chapter until Thursday night.<strong>

**I had a lot of trouble with it. I wanted to put the nightmere scene in, but they didn't want to cooperate.**

**So they desided to go on strike and want me to write a compleately different story. (I'm pointing my finger at you Georgia. Get your arse on here!)**

**Anyway. Shout out for _Gladiator446_ (I think I've memorised your username now) for my only review of last chapter. And her moral support. I think my school is still crapier than yours.**

**And of course a massive thank you to my brilient, amazing and loyal Beta _caketin3336_ for sticking with me and stoped her studies just to beta this. Even though she had a bad week with all her darn exams. I hope you can relax this week.**

**And Georgia, like I said before, get your arse on FF. They keep pestering me and wont let me write for _Immortal Bella._ I do not want to drop this story and they are not helping me!**

**So get a fricken account. You will thank me for it when you do.**

**:)**

** :P **

**;)**


	24. Some things never change

**A.N. I'm sooo sorry it took me sooo long to get this chapter out. I'll explain later, read now.**

**Disclamer: If I was SM or AN I'd be able to write about these couples so much easier. But I'm not, I'm just palin ol me and this is who I am. **

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

After finishing our composition I decided to get ready. Alice emerged from her room just before I entered the guest room. She handed my, now clean, clothes to me and I showered and did the works. Putting a little more effort into my appearance. I still didn't wear any make-up, but I could see the light returning to my eyes. The purple bags beneath them didn't help much.

Edward rode over with me to my house.

"It's not very impressive," I warned him on the ride over.

"It doesn't matter," he replied, scooting closer to me.

"I actually spent more money on getting this baby," -I patted the stirring wheel- "over here, than what I spent on the house. I haven't done anything to it," I confessed.

Again he replied, "It doesn't matter." This time wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leaned back into the bench.

My heart accelerated at his touch and I could practically feel his smile.

The drive to my house was rather long, I got lost a few times trying to find the right road. And Edward being so close to me didn't help my concentration. But we made it there in one piece.

I pulled the key out of my bag and jingling the door handle. I shoved the door open. Flinging me over the threshold. Usually I would have head butted the stair case, but Edward caught me before I could damage any unfortunate wood.

"Steady there," his voice giving away his amusement. His hands still on my hips, but I was now facing him.

"Thanks," I mumbled, blushing. "Um. Do you want a tour?" I gestured around me.

His crooked smile crept onto his face. "Of course." And with that I took is hand and led him around the stair case.

I pulled him into a door on my left. "This is the living room." He stepped in behind me and looked around. There was a sofa to the right, that faced the window, a small coffee table infront of it. A miniscule fireplace was on the far wall.

"No TV," he spotted, slightly confused.

"No TV," I stated. There was no point in it. It would just remind me of Charlie and how he would sit and watch the games on the sports channel.

I walked around the sofa and we went through the door-less connection between this room and the kitchen.

A small cooker sat just below a window, looking out at my fenced in garden. There was no table to eat at, I always ate on the sofa. The cupboards sat on the walls and a small fridge was stationed beside the door that led to the garden.

_'No table,'_ he noted mentally.

"Um. There isn't anything I can offer you, is there?" The logical part of my brain knew that he wouldn't want anything, but I felt like a bad host to not at least offer.

He chuckled. "No, unless you have a deer in your fridge, I'm afraid not." He dazzled me again and I fought the urge to say: 'No, but I have stake.' _Stupid, stupid Bella._

"I'll show you up stairs," I muttered before spinning around. Trying to avoid saying something embarrassing.

He followed me up the narrow stair case and I led him to the spare room, where I had made up camp.

I walked into the room and just then I realised how I had neglected to even clean the room. I needed to at least make an effort. But at the time there was no point in it. At least none that I saw. I was depressed, a recluse to my own house and had no one to pretend for. They had gone too. I had nothing to live for in my eyes. I was living in hell and deserved every minute of it. What I did could never be forgiven.

Edward's thoughts pulled me out of my downward spiral.

_'A new bed, I'm sure Esme could get it here by the time we finish school. That way she won't be able to-'_ I cut him off before he could complete the thought.

"I don't want you to buy me anything. We only just got back together, you shouldn't be trying to buy me things. Bed's are a big 'no-no'." I turned to face him. So he knew I was being serious.

"I'm sorry." I could see the anguish in his eyes. "I just, want you to be comfortable. You've done very well to get by all on your own." He nodded his head to show respect. It was nice for someone to think highly of me. But even Edward saw how I struggled. I'm lucky I made it this far.

"Thank you, but I _choose_ to live like this. I've got more than I deserve." I gestured around the room. I started to walk closer to him, like a magnetic pull. I just had to be near him. 24/7, 365 days a year. _Don't forget the leap years too!_

His arms encircled me and immediately I felt safe. I sighed in utter content. I could stay like this forever and I'd die happy. The thought didn't scare me. Why should I be scared of death? The only thing was now, if I died, I'd loose Edward and all of the Cullens. I guess I have been living for them all a long. Hope was all I had to live for. And hope is what I've got.

"You deserve the world, my love. And I'd give it to you if I could," he mumbled into my hair.

"You know how to make a girl feel loved," I smiled up at him.

"You are loved, by so many." He caressed my cheek and it made his words so much sweeter. Going up on my tiptoes I brushed my lips against his. It was a 'barely-there' kiss but I needed to get ready, and making out with Edward would only distract me. Although it would be so worth it.

Pulling away I could see he was happy. "I need to get changed," I told him. Grabbing some clean clothes and starting to rummage through my wardrobe.

He was looking like an Adonis, standing at my door. Fearful to enter just incase he broke something, by stepping on it.

"You can wait on the bed or downstairs, whichever." I looked over my shoulder as I took hold of my black hoody.

He smiled and maneuvered carefully around the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He wanted to be closer to me. _'Just like the first time._' He thought.

But he was wrong, it wasn't like the first time. The first time we had been in my room in Forks, we had to whisper because Charlie was down stairs. And we weren't in Forks and Charlie wasn't down stairs. Charlie would never- _no don't think like that, you'll only make yourself worse_.

But I smiled at Edward when he sent me a worried look. _I'm thinking too much._ Being on my own for so long has caused me to be less sociable. _I need to work on that._

I got changed in the bathroom, slipping into the jeans and pulling my hoody over the red top I had underneath. I re-brushed my hair and teeth and was glad to see the happiness in my reflection. The old Bella was coming back to life.

I walked back to Edward with a smile on my face. He opened up his arms for me and I gratefully sat on his lap. He nuzzled my neck and inhaled my scent.

"I think we need to make a move, if we want to get to school on time," I thought out loud. I could feel his smile as he shook his head against my neck.

"Alice is delivering my Volvo over," his velvet voice muffled against my skin. My brain tracked his movements and the electric current intensified when his hands pulled my hips closer to him, and stayed there.

I swallowed loudly. "Oh, um, ok. Is she riding with us?" I was concentrating too hard on his movements to think of much more. He was making it insanely hard to think clearly.

His smile widened. "No, she'll be riding with Rose, Emmett and Jasper." He placed a kiss on my neck before pulling away, I missed the contact immediately. "Speak of the devil and the devil will come." I giggled and watched as the bedroom window opened. Alice's tiny frame leaped through the small square, her feet landing on the floor soundlessly.

"Your car awaits you, oh great one." She bowed theatrically. We laughed as she looked up at us.

"Who are you referring to, me or your brother?" I just had to ask. It was too good to pass.

"My amazing brother, of course. Who, just so conveniently for him, allowed someone else to drive his baby." She used her fingers to make air quotation marks around 'Baby'. I full out laughed when Edward aimed a small growl at his sister. _Ah, sibling rivalry._

After locking up the house we made our way to school. I shrunk in my seat as all eyes watched the shiny silver Volvo park in what they considered the best space in the lot, the closest to the gates. I could see all the boys that were trying to get as close to Rosalie's red BMW as they dared. Emmett leaning against the hood with his right arm raped around Rosalie's shoulders, was scaring the boys to a nice few feet away. That or they wanted to give Alice and Jasper some space as they stared into each others eyes. I'd wager on the first one.

"Some things never change," I breathed to Edward as he pulled the keys out the ignition. He just chuckled and stepped out the car and tried to get to my side before I could get out. Unfortunately for him, with all the people watching, he wasn't able to open my door in time. He glared at me as I climbed out, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he pulled me into his chest.

"You know everyone's watching us right?" I questioned. I stepped back and looked at him.

He smirked, removing the step between us. "Then let's give them something to watch." His hands landed on my hips and his face inched closer to mine. My breath became shallow and my heart took off. My eyes drooped shut when his lips fell on mine. My arms slipping around his neck, I leaned into him. After a few heated moments he pulled away and rested our foreheads together as I tried to get my heart to go back to it's normal pace. I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"You're evil," I muttered, he took hold of my hand and started to lead me to class.

"No, I'm just damned and enjoying the journey." He gave me a crooked smile as he looked down at me.

"You're not damned." Our eyes met and he grinned at me.

"I beg to differ," he pressed.

"Beg all you like, but you're not damned. Trust me," I whispered the last part. I don't know why but it felt kind of private. I never told anyone why I didn't die. It wasn't some 'miracle', how could it be? When I lost everyone and anyone who ever meant anything to me. When I got left all on my own? That's no miracle. It's a curse.

Edward's eyes narrowed at me and I raised my eyebrows in challenge, but he just sighed and shook his head. He let go of my hand and pulled me to his side. Making it harder to walk, but so nice to be so close.

_'God, why is he with her?'_

_'What the-? They've been here for one day and she pulled him?'_

_'Why the hell are they together?'_

_'What's so attractive about an emo?'_

I winced at the over creative minds of the students around me. My hand reached up to pull my hoody over my head. Normally I'd have my headphones blearing, trying to tune out all the voices in my head that I didn't want to hear. My hoody covering my face, a place to hide from all the stares.

But that's not the case now. Those stares had now turned to glares when we passed all the girls that thought I'd 'stolen' Edward from them. I wanted to hide inside my dark hoody, wanting to just melt into walls, wishing to just become invisible again.

Cold fingers curled around my wrist, preventing my hand from going any further. "You don't need to hide any more. I'm here." His velvet voice soothed me. Calming and protective to my nervous and exposed. _He's my other half, that's for sure._

I smiled at him, but I'm sure he saw the hesitation in my eyes. "It's ok, they're just meaning-less thoughts. Lies created to satisfy themselves." His stare bore into my soul and I could see all the years that made him. All the thoughts he had to live with, had to listen to. I think I finally realised why he found me so interesting. Everyone else he could hear their thoughts, he'd make assumptions based on those thoughts before he could actually find out who they were. But he couldn't hear my thoughts and he had to dig deep to find out who I was, I was a breath of fresh air. I was like a sanctuary for him. In his eyes I was an angel made specifically to fit his every need and want. I was made for him.

In my eyes he was changed to stay alive for me. There is no doubt in my mind that he was made for me, just as I was made for him. We are soul mates.

The bell rang, snapping me out of my mini epiphany. Edward, who had been silent through my own silence, watched me as a smile wormed it's way to my lips.

"What-?" He began but I stopped him. Already knowing his question.

"I'll explain later, right now we need to get into class." I took his hand and started to pull him towards class, a bit of a bounce in my step.

I love Edward Cullen with all of my being. And I was his being. Two halves of a whole and we would never let anything break us apart. Ever. Again.

* * *

><p><strong>First I want to say I am sooo sorry for those of you that even bother to read my story. It's a great story and I love it, but I feel like I've let you down.<strong>

**I'm not one to spill my life to anyone and everyone. But the past few weeks have been hell. And I was in too much of a depressed state to write, for a story or a song. And that's a lot for me, because writing is my outlet.**

**But I want this story to be happy and I felt it would be too forced or depressing to be good enough for my readers. I want a happy ending to this story and I reflect a lot of myself into this Bella.**

**I don't know if anyone noticed but there's a subtle difference in my style of writing at the begging to at the end. **

**So I really want to apologise. At one stage I was going to give this up. I wanted to withdraw myself from everthing and everyone.**

**But for some reason I couldn't let go of this story, and I'm glad I didn't. It was something I held onto and it is one of the things that made me pull myself upto the surface again.**

**But I took on this story to finish it, not to let it down again. I couldn't do that to you because I know I get upset when an auther doesn't finish a story I enjoyed.**

**So from now on I'm going to _try _to update on a saturday night every two weeks. So hopefully in two weeks time you will have another chapter.**

**But if I don't, please try to understand, I'm in a very hard possition right now. I'm actually waiting for the help I've been told I will get. Basicly, I'm now going counciling.**

**I hate leaning on people and although I trust people, I just hate putting my problems onto their sholders. They don't deserve that. I don't want my friends to fight my wars for me. That's not who I am.**

**I'd rather loose one of my wars than loose one of my friends to my wars.**

**So all I can ask is for you to understand, life isn't perfect and mine is far from it. No matter how strong you are, we all have a weakness. As do I and it feels like everyone is taking a bite out of me and finding new places to hit and tearing and digging even further into the one's they found years ago.**

**A big thank you to my beta _caketin3336 _for beta'ring this chapter, even though she has her RL isues and exam's for her GCSE's (like me) she found time in her studies (unlike me) to keep betaring and giving me much needed support. I can say many words and I can say none at all but when you say words of support it just helps to know someone cares. And I'm here for you too!**

**Thank you to _Gladiator446 _for reviewing last chapter and I'm so sorry for letting you down. Thank you for you're sayings too, they helped me.**

**Also thank you to Georgia, you're my sister and always will be. Our talk took a huge bolder off my sholders. To know I'm not loosing you and you felt the same way and that we had a chance to talk about it, I think that's what brought me out of the dark. I think we're getting somewhat back to normal again.**

**I don't expect anyone to review, and I'm sorry for the sob story. It's not an excuse, it's the truth and as sad as I am, you deserve to at least understand my possition.  
>I don't expect anyone to be reading this, the story or this AN but if even only one person is reading this, even if that is my beta, I will continue to write for this story.<strong>

**Just note that I'm trying to get myself better, I'm sick of feeling this way and I want to be happy more constantly and for longer periods of time.**

**I'm not trying to guit trip you all, I just want you to understand.**

**Please just understand and bare with me, while I try to get my life straight. I want the best future I can have for myself, that may be selfish but it's the main thing that is the reason I'm still here.**

**Sorry for such a long AN.**


	25. ThisLove

**Disclamer: I do not own _Twilight, Evermore_ or any songs posted on here. (Unless I put my songs up here) I get no proffit from this, just personal gain.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bpov<strong>

Walking into the class room not many people where in their seats. Most the students were talking amongst themselves, leaning or sitting on tables. Nobody paid us any attention as we walked in. That is, until they saw Edward being dragged behind me. A goofy smile on his face as he gazed at me, our eyes locking as I glanced over my shoulder, my own smile widening for him.

I sat on my side of the desk and Edward stood between my legs, lowering his head to rest his forehead against mine. He slipped his head to my ear so he could whisper.

"Would you like to sit with me at lunch?" he murmured. His breath rushed down my ear, making me shiver.

"How about you sit with me?" I whispered back. For such a trivial thing, it felt so private, and I loved him all the more for it. He pulled back, showing me his signature smile.

"I'd love to." He pecked my lips one last time before Mr Robins enters, calling the class to order.

Everyone scrambled to get to their respective seats. Edward reluctantly letting me go.

Not five minutes into class I felt someone nudge my side. I looked up to see Damen looking straight ahead, but in his hand was a folded piece of paper. He passed it to me and I nudged him back.

"Read it," his voice just a whisper.

I opened it up to see his elegant script, but it dulled in the comparison to Edward's.

_**Meet me outside this classroom at lunch.**_

_**Don't bring anyone along. **_

_**Damen** _

I tried to catch his attention again but he never glanced my way.

"Ms Swan do you mind not disrupting another students learning," came Mr Robins harsh voice from the front.

"Sorry Sir," I replied bitterly.

Throughout the rest of the lesson I re-read the scrap of paper in my mind. I annotated all his words. I thought of all the different reasons as to why he, Damen of all people, would want to talk to me. Just me. What did he want to tell me that he didn't want anyone else to know? Would he want to take me somewhere else? What if he tried to do something with me? I'm sure I could fight him off, I had more strength than the average human.

But why, why does he want to talk to me and what about?

Then I had to wonder if I wanted to go alone. What if he tried to harm me? Or worse yet, what if he wanted to hurt Edward. What if he wanted to ask me out and wanted to do it alone? I've only just got Edward back, I didn't need anything else to come up. I didn't need another Mike Newton. But what if he was harmless? The last time we talked he claimed he knew my secret. What if he wanted to talk about that? Maybe he knew something about me. Or what if he knew something about the Cullens? That would put us all in danger.

I decided to confront Edward about it, after all, this could be nothing but equally it could be something. We have already suffered from not talking to each other about things, from one of us making a decision and not confessing in each other. If we were going to make it anywhere, we had to do it together. Even if it was something as small as a request from a boy.

So when the bell rang, and I took Edward's hand as we walked out of class, I slipped the note into his palm. His brows furrowed when he felt the change in texture against his hand. I pulled him out to the corridor and turned to him.

"Damen gave this to me at the beginning of class," I pointed to the paper in his hand. He opened it up and scanned the words.

His eyes flashed to mine. "What do you plan on doing?" I knew he knew not to try and tell me what to do, but he didn't want me to go alone.

"I'm going to meet him." I could see the distress in his eyes. "And you're coming with me, we do this together." He smiled at my words. Taking a hold of my right hand and placing a chaste kiss on my knuckles.

"I'll be at you're side forever, my Love." His eyes smoldered into my own and I gripped his hand in mine.

"You better keep up then!" I shouted as I slipped my hand from his and ran towards my next class. I couldn't help laughing as I looked back to see him giving chase to me. I didn't trip or stumble once as I made my escape. But I managed to push on a pull door, allowing him to catch up with me.

He wrapped his arms around me just as I started to pull the door open. A squeal slipped from my lips as he twirled me around before setting me down and opening the door, his other arm still around my waist.

"You'll have to do better than that to escape from me." I'm not sure if it was my imagination or if his voice was as seductive as I heard it.

"I hope you never let me escape," my voice just a low but I don't think it was half as seductive as his. His eyes had darkened considerably and a new fire smoldered within them.

"Don't worry, I'll never let you go." He made it sound more like a commitment than a retort. And I couldn't stop the silly grin that spread across my face.

Edward walked with me the rest of the way to my next class.

Alice waited outside the door, Jasper at her side. "Come on you two, we're going to be late." She hollered even through we were less than 5 feet away from her.

"And your point is?" I shouted back.

"The sooner we get into class the sooner we can go," she replied, this time not as loud, seeing as we were now standing in front of her.

"I don't think school works that way Alice," I admitted to her. Hugging myself closer to Edward's side.

"Yeah, well, you never know." Our little shout was starting to catch quite a few people's attention. Well, that's what I'd like to think. Their thoughts told me otherwise.

_'I can't believe they're going out, seriously who would have thought...'_

_'I bet he's doing it just to get me jealous, this time next week it will be me he's holding...'_

_'Aww, now aren't they a cute couple, he seems to really like her.'_

I stopped there, ignoring all other thoughts, ending on that last one.

It was nice to know that not every person was jealous of us. I could see their point, their reasons, but it still aggravated me. It helped to know that not everyone thought so little of me and thought that we would last. It was just nice to hear a kind thought. Plain and simple.

Edward squeezed my hip and turned me around to place a small fair-well kiss. That's what he had planned, but I wasn't going to let him go so easily. After being away from each other for so long, after believing I'd never see him again, let alone kiss him again. I couldn't stop myself from acting this way at every opportunity.

Alice's insistent poking made me pull away. "Will you stop that?" I asked her irritably.

"Will you stop that and get into class already?" she asked back, just as irritated.

I sighed and Edward chuckled. "I'll meet you after class," he said before turning away and walking with Jasper. I laughed as I saw him give Jaspers shoulder a shove and making him stumble towards the wall, narrowly avoiding a freshman.

I walked into the class just before the bell rang and didn't bother to rush to my seat. Madam Frank had yet to appear thanks to a fellow staff member knocking their coffee over and getting it down her dress, leaving a nice big coffee-stain down her front.

A girl who reminded me a lot of Lauren Malloy back in Forks -wince- decided to take this time to confront me about her issues.

"Listen emo-"

"Bella," I corrected her.

I knew where this was going and I wasn't going to have any part of it. I also knew that Edward was listening in and I decided to take this opportunity to show him I am no longer the shy and fragile Bella he knew before, to show him that I could take care of myself. Even if it was only a class mate, or you could say, one of his admirers. Stacia Miller to be precise.

"Bella, Emo. Whatever. I want you to know that Edward is mine and don't think that any of these rumors going around actually mean anything-"

Yet again I stopped her before she could say any more. "They do, me and-" But she cuts in before I can get another word in.

"Anyway, even if they did mean something. It's really nothing to you, or him. See he's just using you to make me jealous and this time next week it will be me he's holding and me he's going out with. I thought you should know that so that when he does eventually dump you- which will be soon, you will have something at hand to slit your wrists with. Even though you're an emo and all, I thought you should at least have a heads up so you don't commit suicide or something." I let her have her rant. My jaw tight- a habit I'd picked up from Edward, and my hands in an even tighter fits under the table.

"You don't know anything about me and Edward, not one thing. I don't care what you think, what you say or for any of your little fantasies of my boyfriend, because they are just that. Fantasies. So you can go telling yourself these things over and over again, you can tell everyone on this planet, but it will not change the fact that Edward is mine and I am his. This isn't some fluke and he isn't using me. He loves me and I love him.

"Me and Edward are none of your business, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut if you want to be able to move it after this. Because I think that, even though you're a bitch and all, you at least deserve some kind of warning as to know that I wont take any shit from you or anyone else. Me and Edward go back, way back, and we are staying together forever, we are a couple now and we will still be together in sixty odd years. Because one day I will marry him and we will be bound together for the rest of our lives. I will fight for him just as he will for me. So I suggest you back the hell off before I rip your plastic mask off. Halloween finished last year."

Throughout my little- okay maybe not so little, speech I kept my eyes locked on hers. Alice had a restraining hand on my shoulder, stopping me from getting up and breaking her fake nose. She stared back at me, her mouth agape as my words sunk in.

"D-did you just threaten me?" her voice at an annoyingly high pitch.

"No, I just warned you of the results of your actions if you carry on harassing me," I retorted. Stacia was still in shock as the teacher, Madam Frank, told her to sit down.

The class was in stunned silence as she took her seat, obviously they had all been listening in to our not-so-quiet conversation.

Alice cheered a small "Go Bella!" under her breath and I grinned at her. I was pleased at myself for standing up for me and Edward. Before I had never had the nerve to stand up to someone like Stacia, in other words, her twin sister in Forks, Lauren. I had allowed someone to pick at me for my insecurities. I didn't know the things I do now. If I had, maybe I would have gone against Lauren. I had hoped that maybe she'd get tiered of me and realise that I wasn't interested in any other boys and Edward wasn't interested in any other girls. But she fed off my fear and I wouldn't allow it again. I had enough problems as it was, I didn't need high school drama as well.

Besides, it felt good to snap at her. To correct her misled conclusions. As bad as it sounded, it felt good to let off some of my steam on her. I wouldn't start a fight, but I am no longer afraid to end them.

The hour flew by, with the occasional comment with Alice, and soon I was standing in front of Edward.

My smile turned into a face-splitting grin as my gaze rested on him. He leaned against the wall facing the classroom door, with an equally big smile.

I almost skipped over to him, I was so elated. He engulfed me in a hug and captured my lips with his own for a dizzying amount of time, before putting me back on my feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned, but I could hear the undertone of amusement in his voice.

"Perfect," I replied, slipping out of his arms and taking hold of his hand and leading him to our next class. Music. I had missed this class too many times. I loved songs and writing them especially. It was the one thing I had looked forward to before the Cullens arrived.

"Ah, Bella. We've missed you," Mr Alan greeted me as we entered hand in hand.

I smiled back. "Yeah, I've missed this too," I told him. To say he was shocked to hear and see the happiness in me was an understatement. But he soon recovered and flashed me a quick grin. He was glad I was no longer so sad. Of all the people in this town he knew me best, besides the Cullens that is. He always backed up my songs and helped me learn how to write music to my lyrics. He even taught me some new tricks for the guitar. He was a very nice man and never pried for any further information than that in my music and never judged me for my appearance or for what I wrote. He was just a genuinely nice guy.

Edward followed me as I went to the storage cupboard to grab one of the school guitars. They had electrics, bass and acoustics. Naturally I grabbed the electric. Without an amp it sounded similar to an acoustic, with an amp it came to life. It was a two in one.

I sat down on one of the stools and he sat beside me.

"You don't have to follow me, you can go on the piano if you want to," I reminded him. Slipping my arm through the strap.

"It holds no interest if you're not beside me, I'd rather watch you play," he smiled tentatively at me. But he'd already heard me play two songs, I didn't want to seem like I was showing off.

"How about we do a duet?" I had been thinking this over for some time. I loved Edward playing the piano and I always presumed he would have a lovely singing voice, but that thought had been frown to the sharks as soon as I actually heard him sing. There was no voice on this earth that came close to his voice. It was magical and stunning. He had me in tears before he even created the first verse. It was beautiful, just like him.

Edward seemed just as eager. So he hoped off his stool and pulled me off my own, practically dragging me to the schools grand piano. I grabbed a stool and sat beside the piano, seeing as I couldn't sit on the bench as I'd be an obstruction.

"What should we play?" he turned to me, hands hovering over the keys.

"Um..." I muttered, to let him know that I was thinking. I knew many songs and I would love to hear his song, but there was something private about it. It just didn't seem right to play it in a class room. It was Edward's song. It was special, it was unique, it was meant for me. So I got my iPod out and searched some of my favourite songs.

"Do you know Evanescence?" I looked to him, he was leaning in to see the screen.

"No...but I could probably get the chords off the internet..." He wanted to appease me, but I knew he didn't know their music, and honestly I wanted a song that we could both play and sing together.

Maybe a male song?

"Um...how about The Script?" I suggested. He grinned.

"This equals love?" he prompted. Pulling away to face me.

"Sure, just let me tune up." I decided to try and impress him with how fast I could tune up. Placing the guitar on my lap, I connected the wires and leaned over to press the respective chords. Edward didn't move a muscle as I reached for the first key, then after a while he started to help me out, pressing the keys I asked. A few minutes later and I was ready to play.

"You lead, I'll rap," I told him. I knew this song off by heart, I listened to it so many times and having photographic memory, I memorized the chords from glancing at them online.

He gave me a small lopsided smile, his eyes betraying his nerves. I beamed back at him. "Don't worry, you're a great singer."

"You're biased," he accused.

"So are you," I reminded him. He laughed but it wasn't as full and confident as he'd like it to sound.

"Ready?" He rested one of his hands on his lap, as he wouldn't be coming in straight away. I readjusted the strap on my shoulder and placed my fingers on the correct strings. Most of the song was finger picking for the electric, we had no bass so I'd be covering that as well.

"Yep," I nodded my head.

"Are you sure you don't want to lead?" he turned back to me. I laughed. For a vampire that is an amazing pianist and had a beautiful normal voice, he was very insecure.

"I'm sure. Remember you don't come in for the first few bars." I took a large breath and let it out, then started to bob my head to the imaginary beat in my head. I started to pick at the strings, the notes floated from the amp at my side.

Edward paused before breathing in and started to sing. His voice sounded slightly pained as he concentrated on the first few stanzas.

**"It's in the eyes of the children,  
><strong>**As they leave for the very first time.  
><strong>**And it's in the heart of a soldier,  
><strong>**As he takes a bullet on the frontline."**

His right hand started playing the same chords as I was picking, making it sound slightly higher in pitch.

**"It's in the face of the mother,  
><strong>**As she takes the force of the blow.  
><strong>**And its in the hands of the father, yeah,  
><strong>**As he works his fingers to the bone, yeah."**

His voice grew in confidence and volume. His face looking down at the keys but turned slightly towards me.

"**I'm standing under a white flag, oh.  
><strong>**Can you see me, oh.  
><strong>**Can you see me, ooh.  
><strong>**I'm standing for everything we have, oh.  
><strong>**Can you hear me, oh.  
><strong>**Can you hear me."**

I stopped playing as I prepared to start strumming. I glanced up at him to see the smile on his face.

**"This is why we do it.  
><strong>**This is worth the pain.  
><strong>**This is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**This is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**This is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love."**

I started to join him, softly singing along.

**"Love is why we do it.  
><strong>**Love is worth the pain.  
><strong>**Love is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**Love is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**Love is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love."**

I returned to finger picking and stopped singing along. Edward's voice became softer and he drew out the last word to every stanza. He stopped playing.

**"This is love.  
><strong>**This is love.  
><strong>**This is love."**

He returned to the piano and started to sound breathless.

**"It's in the soul of a city,  
><strong>**What it does after it crumbles and burns."**

I echoed him, placing emphasis on the words. I felt these next lyrics were very much for him.

**"And it's in the blood of a hero,  
><strong>**To know where he goes he may never return, heh."**

I started to hum the backing vocals and Edward started to lean forward as he put more conviction into the chorus.

**"I'm standing under a white flag, oh.  
><strong>**Can you see me, oh.  
><strong>**Can you see me, ooh.  
><strong>**I'm standing for everything we have, oh.  
><strong>**Can you hear me, oh.  
><strong>**Can you ****hear me."**

I paused again, changing chords and started strumming. My left leg starting to bounce with the change in tempo. Edward didn't falter.

**"This is why we do it.  
><strong>**This is worth the pain.  
><strong>**This is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**This is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**This is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love."**

I joined in again. Enjoying the mixture of our voices.

**"Love is why we do it.  
><strong>**Love is worth the pain.  
><strong>**Love is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**Love is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**Love is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love."**

My heart pounded as we got closer to my solo, I stopped playing and let Edward's voice relax me.

**"This is love, this is love.  
><strong>**This is love, this is love.  
><strong>**This is love, this is love."**

He turned to face me, giving me a smile to support me before I drew in a big breath and kept my eyes on him to stop my throat from closing.

**"If you could be anywhere that you wanted to be,  
><strong>**With anyone that you wanted to be with.  
><strong>**Do anything that you wanted to do.  
><strong>**What would it be man who would it be with you?  
><strong>**Time flies but you're the pilot.  
><strong>**It moves real fast but you're the driver.  
><strong>**You may crash and burn sometimes."**

I recovered quickly to go into the chorus. This time singing along fully with him.

**"This is why we do it.  
><strong>**This is worth the pain.  
><strong>**This is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**This is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**This is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love.**

**"Love is why we do it.  
><strong>**Love is worth the pain.  
><strong>**Love is why we fall down,  
><strong>**And get back up again.  
><strong>**Love is where the heart lies.  
><strong>**Love is from above.  
><strong>**Love is this, this is love."**

I smiled as we hit our chords in sync, allowing them to hover in the air before stopping.

Edward spun around and pulled me into a hug, it was extremely awkward seeing as the guitar was between us and I laughed as he pulled back and glared at the, now offending, object. Slipping the strap over my head and placing it against the piano, I wrapped my arms around his neck and ducked my head under his chin.

"That was beautiful." A small voice captured my attention. I pulled away from Edward to see who it was.

A tiny girl sat perched on one of the stools in the classroom. She had obviously been on one of the macs before we had started playing.

I blushed from being heard and looking at Edward he seemed as if he'd be doing the same if it were possible. "Thank you," he replied, smiling at her.

Mr Alan made his presence known then and cleared his throat. "I take it you've found someone to do your group piece with, Bella."

* * *

><p><strong>So sorry this is late. I only started writting this chapter on last thursday or something. Maybe it was this thursday, I can't remember.<strong>

**I'm recovering from a migrane right now, so I'm still under it's effects.**

**Big shout out to my beta_ caketin336_ for beta'ring this chapter over night and introducing me to _The Hunger Games. _Amazing books, if you haven't read them, READ them. You'll be missing out if you don't.**

**Song as stated so kindly by Edward is: _This=Love_ by _The Script_**

**I know this is the second song I've done by _The Script_ and I don't like repeating things. But this song just HAD to go in here.**

**I've got a mountain of homework and a very special friend coming to visit my family this thursday so I might not be able to write for another week.  
><strong>**But I've got some ideas running around in my head, that just need to be written down.**

**Sorry for the delay, I'm trying me hardest to get it all done, but RL is my priority and this is a hobby. It's supposed to relax me, and it does.  
>But I don't get much time, sometimes. <strong>

**I'll do my best, that's all I can give.**

**Thank you for reading.**


End file.
